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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

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Be thankful

Professor Penwose, Kiwi
Here with a new segment entitled
Truths, Near Truths, And Far-Fetched Truths

Be Thankful…for what I have no idea?

The first Thanksgiving was not as glamorous as originally conceived, or hoped for.

The Indians arrived late for dinner because they had been searching for their Lost Pet Turkey.
This left the white guys red-faced beyond that of the redskins, (who were allowed to be called that in those days,) due to a naked turkey turning on the spit.

A quick thinking pilgrim quickly stuck a Butter Ball sticker on the bird in hopes the Indians would think it came from somewhere else. Unfortunately the redmen could not read, except for smoke signals, which were not yet known to the whites.

One of the lesser smart pilgrims told the Injuns the sticker said it was a Big Ball of Butter. The Indians knew this was not the case and searched the scene.

They found a pile of feathers, unsuitable for their headdresses, and reconstructed them. This took quite awhile to complete with the white pioneers shaking in their boots, which probably was the beginning of that phrase?

When the last feather was fitted in the shape of their lost turkey the Indians knew what they had to do and massacred the settlers.

Years later other pilgrims came on the scene and celebrated the holiday. They read the logs of the first Thanksgiving and realized the pilgrims misgivings.

That year when the Butter Ball sticker was slapped onto the Indians Pet Turkey, in an unbelievable reoccurrence of the previous occurrence, the Indians believed it to be a Big Ball of Butter, because the pilgrims had taught them to read.

Since then reading has been fundamental.
To this day neither of the Pet turkeys has been found.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Penwose Out
By George


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