AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Mel Hathorn, iLalita Vasu, iBruce Humphrey, iAnn Marie Hannon, iDebashish Haar, iDavid Clure, iShannon MacLeod, iR.E.E.S Blogs Linda Smith, Publisher, iRobin Ouzman Hislop, iJ and C Wordsmiths, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· Messages
· 622 Titles
· 377 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the By George xx xx Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
By George xx xx, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen!

Books by
By George xx xx



See all Books
by By George xx xx


Real Stupid
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
By George xx xx

• Shot/No Shot
• Mutant
• Spark Plug
• That's Life!
• Power Outage
           >> View all

Stupid is.

Stupid is!
If It Were Not For Stupidity, I’d Have No Ity At All.

I watched a movie with my DVD player, then switched to TV. My Channels were all messed up. I have an antenna with a bad cord.
I tried to move it around to get a good connection but nothing worked.
I had one of those antennas they advertise on TV that I bought for backup.
I figured it was time to use it.

I plugged it in, and did a channel scan…got 73 channels…GREAT!
Looked through them all and was amazed, however there were no 8s, which I watch the most…8.1 8.2 & 8.3.

Decided to try a scan with the old antenna, just to see what comes up?
Got 72 channels…WOW! Why would anybody get cable?

Looked through them and saw there were still no 8s.

Then I saw my Stupidity.
My DVD Player was still on. I thought I’d turned it off?
If it is on, my tv channels don’t work right…Son Of A Bitch!

I turned it off and did another scan…85 channels!

Has the 8s and all the others I wanted.

The cord is still bad and the channels flicker, so today I’m going to use the new antenna…DUH!

I met a lady from Switzerland. Told her I like their little meatballs.
She got all irate and said they don’t have meatballs. Said I was thinking of Sweden.
I always get those two confused.
I told her I like their cheese.
She smiled.
I asked why it has holes in it?
She said, “Target Practice!”
I backed away.

Gina sent me a railroad hat. Now I can go Working On the Railroad,
But I won’t!
I sent her a Thank You letter.
Just as I put it through the mailbox slot, I realized I had not put postage on it. The box was locked so I could not retrieve it.

I had to wait for the mailman.
I could not see the box from my house, so I had to wait by the box. The temp was 110.

He was due, but I did not know exactly when.
I could not stand there waiting so I walked around a bit. There was a shade tree a ways down the street. I got to it and stood in the shade for awhile.
Those nasty black birds must have had a nest in it because they came down and started yacking at me.
I told them I was just standing there to cool off, but they didn’t believe me.
I saw no signs of the mailman, and started walking back to another shade tree.
As I stood there, I realized it was Flag Day.
The thought occurred to me there was no mail on Flag Day. I had to find out for sure.
I had my phone. I called Google. She said there was mail delivery on Flag Day.
I was relieved and waited for it.
It came, and I put on postage.
I had been out in that heat for two hours.
I’m never doing that again…I Hope!

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8
















Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Crash Dummies
  2.  Penny Power
  3.  Pedicure and Chicken
  4.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  5.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  6.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  7.  Poetry Submission
  8.  Losing Ticket
  9.  Shot/No Shot
  10.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  11.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  12.  Getting Old In The Real World
  13.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  14.  More GFI
  15.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  16.  Imminent Danger
  17.  The Left-Handed Heart
  18.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  19.  Toughest Million
  20.  Spark Plug
  21.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  22.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  23.  Problem Solving, Or The Day My Septic
  24.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life
  25.  NEW KEYBOARD

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Poe: Pelted, Pounded, Pummeled and Pulverized by Jay Dubya

Author Jay Dubya satirzes in adult language and content 18 famous Edgar Allan Poe stories.  
Member BookAds

A Relief of Doodie: Shtty Stories to Read on the Pot by Jay Horne

Stories Worth Wiping Your A** With Whether you're making a deposit at the stank bank, dropping a return at the squat shop, or conducting a brown business meeting, these perfectly timed tales provide the literary fragrance your privacy deserves. F  
Member BookAds

Hawthorne: Hazed Hooked Hammered & Hijacked by Jay Dubya

Hawthorne: Hazed Hooked Hammered & Hijacked is adult humor that satirizes 12 popular Nathaniel Hawthorne stories in parody form.  
Member BookAds