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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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At the DMV
by By George xx xx   
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New Real License

So there I was , sitting in the DMV, waiting for my new driver’s license. That’s one of those don’t leave home without it things.
If you’re driving. You can leave home without it if you’re not driving. Unless someone asks you for your ID? Then you’ll need it.

I don’t have pockets, so I never take mine when I’m walking.
When someone asks who I am, I tell them.
If they say, “Prove it…I’m in trouble.”

I am fully vaccinated so I do not wear a mask when I walk. I really go by few people. If someone asks me to prove that, I’m in trouble again for the same reason I was in trouble the first time…no pockets.

So there I was, sitting in the DMV…I had an appointment. My number was A1245…the last number called was S4207. I had no idea what that meant or where I stood?
The next number was A2292. THEY PASSED ME!
How could they pass me? I was there! I was watching! I was listening!
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that PAST A1245? People looked at me strangely as I asked myself that question, but it seemed justified?

The next A was A1072. I think a DUI Driver was calling the numbers?
Then A1245…That’s Me! I was so excited I dropped my papers.

The DMV Site said those over 70, had to appear in person to renew their license.
I also wanted to get one of those new Homeland Security Real Driver’s License that The Red Cross told me I needed to fly.
Pretty soon you won’t be able to get on a plane without one.
I had to bring a bunch of papers including my passport, and list of dead relatives.

The girl checked my stuff and said ,”Good!”
I took that as Good.
Then she told me to look into the machine and read the first line.
I have a lazy eye that acts bad in those machines.
There were two columns of numbers. I read them.
“Read all the way across.”
“Huh?”
“There are 3 columns.”
I only saw 2, but I didn’t tell her. I closed one eye and saw the other column…I read it.
“That’s good enough!”
Whew! I hope I remember what those other letters were 4 years from now?
She put stuff in the computer and gave me my stuff, and told me to go to the photo place to get my picture taken.
I shaved and trimmed my moustache for that!

They took my picture and said I would receive my new card by mail within 10 days.
They gave me a temp till then.
I asked when the temp expired?
She looked at it and said Halloween.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If I deploy with The Red Cross soon, I’ll be gone when my new license arrives, and driving around Florida, or wherever, with an expired temp license.

Oh well, That’s Life!

Penwose Out,
By George


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