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The self-realization(s) a young woman faces following a near fatal accident. And this just so happens to be the truth about what has happened to me during these last few years.
As a woman of thirty-three, I thought I had the world in the palm of my hand. The fantastic kids, the home, the education and finally the much loved and sought after career. I was a design engineer for a subsidiary of the automotive industry. I loved my job. Everything seemed to be going great. Then, one crisp day in November it all came to an abrupt halt. While traveling to work on the morning of the 20th of November 1995, I found myself in the path of an 18-wheeler who attempted to make a left-hand turn from the right-hand shoulder of the highway, evidently not caring that he was attempting to across two lanes of traffic. Not only did that not seem to bother him, but apparently also didn't care that he had no working tail-lights on the back of his "rig" that just so happened to be 30,000 pounds overweight. The events of that day those years ago have forever changed my life. The positive things that have come from that terrible day are the things in my life now. I have learned through a great deal of struggling with myself, that I am important. Most of all I am important to me. I have realized that the way I truly feel about "me" is projected onto others regardless of the pains I go to, to hide my feelings of self. I have learned that in order to please those who really care about me I must first please myself. Because those who really care, care about my happiness. If I am unhappy with me they are unhappy for me also. I have also learned that if I look at all the negative things that happen long enough I will find something positive to come from them. An example of this being: If I am running late for an appointment and I have a flat tire, this is not a good thing. Well, not on the surface anyway. But, if someone stops and helps me with the tire then I have made a new friend and my opinions of strangers has changed forever. That is the way I accept life now. So, being hit by an 18-wheeler has its positive points also. I guess? Maybe?
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Take care
Jacqueline