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OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper

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Going Down
by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper → (All Poetry by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
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Life is like a vacuum cleaner, only a thousand times meaner. Every man gets sucked in, and many find it hard to win, basically because they can't rid themselves of their sin.


Poem Artwork

First man fell
cause the devil wanted
him in hell
All men fall
when he comes to call
Many men stall
however not all

Some don't welcome evil in
cause they try to defy sin
Life breaks a man down
sooner or later his face
will frown
His body will grow frail
with the devil hot on his trail
He'll be lucky to in any way excel
Time has a big eraser
so does the evil chaser

Almost all men go for
the long hall
knowing eventually they
will fumble the ball
Life becomes a cruel game
baring no shame
and loudly calling name
For our evil actions we
have no one else to blame
For all our good deeds
it's good to know the same
As we enter the end zone
it sure lessens the flame

Do some good

opg

 


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 Reviews of "Going Down"
Reviewed by Chessly Nesci
Reviewed on October 21, 2010
Do good and good will come back to you!! Excellent write! Take care and god bless! ~Chessly

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
Reviewed on October 20, 2010
true enough!

Reviewed by Lew Duffey
Reviewed on October 19, 2010
I especially like that last line.
Well put together piece.
God bless,
Lew

Reviewed by Stephen Cherring
Reviewed on October 19, 2010
It's not authentic Rhyming in the sence of the word.
It jitters a little here n there. the 'beat' gets itself lost now n then.That's why I'm so sure that you will edit it. Cause the theme is great, and worth editing.

Reviewed by William Bonilla
Reviewed on October 19, 2010
another enjoyable rhyming poem
of which it seems you're the best at it
thanks for sharing Grady
Peace be with you Brother

William

Reviewed by George Carroll
Reviewed on October 19, 2010
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Wisdom in your write.

George


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