The first part of the poem, you paint a very vivid picture, and then you launch your fists. I find the "O's" to be a bit over dramatic, but perhaps that is just my culture. (I tend to get a bit over dramatic myself at times.) Anyway, if ever you wanted to come back to this poem and rework it, I think I'd leave the "“How long will you sleep
O’ Mugabe, O’ Mugabe!"--perhaps cutting out the second "O'" and then continue on with the images without the "O's" except for possibly at the end. I actually think it would be more powerful. But all of that is up to you.
I too am concerned about hunger in the world. My pet project, lifting Haiti out of the muck of poverty. I wish you luck in your endeavors. --Charlie
Married ten years, and more in love than ever, Robert and Marcie have everything to live for. But a terrible secret is breaking Robert's heart: he knows that Marcie is about to die...
In a post-coup America, an Illinois farm boy is drawn into the resistance by his brother's death. Captured, he is given a choice: betray his friends, or the girl he loves will be lobotomized.
A homonymless man writes shows what it's like to look up the laid he skirts when you’re lying prone(d) to the sidewalk, beer / joint / needle dangling from your hand /lips / arm.
O’ Mugabe, O’ Mugabe!"--perhaps cutting out the second "O'" and then continue on with the images without the "O's" except for possibly at the end. I actually think it would be more powerful. But all of that is up to you.
I too am concerned about hunger in the world. My pet project, lifting Haiti out of the muck of poverty. I wish you luck in your endeavors. --Charlie
riddled with the facts of life
Peace be with you and the children in need
all over the world
William
Robbie
Good write with a sound message!
Glad to see you Bhuwan!
Sandie May Angel :o)