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Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com

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REBATES ?
by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com → (All Poetry by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com)
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Category - CRIME ?

Yeah - as in "Rippin' us a New One!"

The PIC ? "BRAKES? WHO NEEDS BRAKES?"




Poem Artwork




REBATES ?


© - Tom Hyland - 2/17/12


What ever happened to Honesty in Business?
Why should Any Business Over-Charge You Up Front -
Put Your Hard-Earned Money in their Bank -
EARN INTEREST - And Make You WAIT?

Let’s take a Look-See at some recent Events:
Last November I purchased a Set of Four Tires
At AL PACKER FORD on Rte. 40 East -
Price $600 + with a $100. REBATE.


After Waiting Patiently, or Rather Impatiently -
For SIX LOUSY WEEKS ...
I Finally got my $100. Rebate Check!
Hold on there, Pard - there’s More!

On that very same day, I was told That
I Needed a Front Brake Job!
The ‘SPECIAL’ in November Was -
ONLY $180. Minus a $50. Rebate!


Now, let us add a little ‘Fly’ to the Ointment -
As a Result of the Tire Purchase
I was CREDITED with a $44. Amount -
That could be Applied, Lowering Brake Job to $90!

Not a ‘Bad Deal’ some might Say -
However, I could not Afford to do it That Day.
Before telling you ‘the Rest of The Story’
Let me RECAP:


WHY Couldn’t the Tires be Priced Properly
In the First Place?
i.e. The ‘NET’ $500. Minus $44. Credit =
A MERE $ 456. ???

And the Brake Job Accordingly -
Would have been a ‘NET’ of $130.
LESS Whatever so-called ‘Credit’
IT would Earn?


Let’s Extrapolate a Few Figures:
$44. ‘Credit’ on $500. Is 8.8 Percent -
Applying that Against the $130. Brake Job -
Would Yield a $11. ‘Credit - Netting to $119.

Take the Tires - Netted at $456.
Plus the Brake Job at $119.
Totals only $575.


THUS - it is Readily seen THAT -
Instead of using my Plastic for $600.
Way back in November - ALL could have been Done
That Very Same Day - For $25. LESS! And NO WAIT!

SO - Pilgrims - Just Today I went to get the Front End
Brake Job done - But - ALAS!
NO $50. REBATE WAS FORTHCOMING!
I had a Print-Out from ONLINE for the ‘SPECIAL’ $180.

Now - the ‘Ointment’ gets a Tad Stickier!
I Also had a ‘SPECIAL’ received in the Mail -
Just the Night Before -
$30. OFF a Front End Brake Job!

When I Questioned This - Was then told That -
The ‘Regular’ Price was $234.
MINUS the $30. Would Cost me $204.
But he ‘Gave’ me the $179.95 ONLINE ‘SPECIAL’!

Thus - SAVING me $54.85 ! About $25. More!
Now - I’m no ‘Mental Giant’ - But -
As he was using a Hand Calculator -
And Writing CHANGES on the Bill with a PEN ...

I could not Help but Notice that the Computer Print-Out
Totaled $312.78 ! HUH? HOW?
THE ‘OIL CHANGE’ - I had Requested was $35.
I Said: DAMN - Most Places it’s $20.


He then pointed to the Price List on the Wall -
“Always been THAT for some time Now!”
Then he showed me the ‘Revised’ PEN Figures:
$312.78 Minus the $54.85. = $257.93 ...

MINUS my $44.02 ‘Credit’ = NET of $213.91 -
He ‘ZAPPED’ my Debit Card -
Shook my Hand - Thanked Me -
Then, reached down and Handed Me ...


A $20. OFF COUPON ... For my NEXT OIL CHANGE !


DUH ? Couldn’t Possibly Apply IT NOW Could They?


REBATES?

Just Another Way That ...

CORPORATIONS SCREW US ROYALLY !!!


POST-SCRIPTS:

1. I Did get a thorough check on my Car.

2. I Did get a complete FREE tire Rotation.

3. I Did get a FREE CAR-WASH.

4. The Original ‘Tire Deal’ AFTER the Rebate WAS about $10.
CHEAPER than Good Ole - ‘MR. TIRE’s
“On the Rim and Out the Door”

As THEIR Price does NOT Include -
TAXES, NOR WARRANTY COST !

And ... I got a Much Better Warranty Coverage
To BOOT !

5. After Reviewing All This ‘CRAPOLA’ Tonite ...

Realized there were a couple of cute RED Boxes Marked,
Along with All the cute GREEN Ones ...

In the ‘Near Future’ my ...

REAR BRAKES WILL REQUIRE ATTENTION !


Oh Well ... “Life Goes On!”



© - TKH.
 

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 Reviews of "REBATES ?"
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Reviewed on February 18, 2012
Thought u just kinda bought that car & ALREADY u need brakes...? U must be one of those old folks that ride the brake all the time u drive...LOL...never take it to a dealership, they are the biggest rip off artists & most expensive...I use Sears now as I found out that Goodyear charged double that of what Sears charges...Jurseeeeeeeeeeeeey

Reviewed by John Martin
Reviewed on February 18, 2012
The best deal out there these days I'm afraid is... like tha man said..."I'm going to offer an opportuntiy to save 50% on your purchase. .I'll charge you twice the price and give you halve off. Wad da ya say?"

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on February 18, 2012
Honesty in Business

What an oxymoron that statement is, my friend. Most honest businesses were the old, now long gone, Ma and Pa businesses that at one time made America Great - until they were all run out of town by the humongous multi-national corporations.

About the only honest business person I can still find these days is the dear old woman who still runs a small Polish Bakery - she even gives her customers Free Bakery every so often - no Rebate required.

Reviewed by m j hollingshead
Reviewed on February 18, 2012
well said

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Reviewed on February 17, 2012
It pays to shop around. Rebates usually signal a better product is just around the corner and they need to unload the current crap. p


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