To Folks Without a Sense of Humor

The world is full of crackpot folks,
Who always know what’s best for you,
They cannot laugh at a single joke—
No, they’ll start some legal suit.

They always get so dramatic
About the morals of the youth,
For they are zealots and fanatics,
Who preach their version of the truth.

What can you say to those folks?
And would you even want to try?
For their life is no joke—
There’s solemn duty in their eyes.

Yes, they will drag their pressing issues,
Which may be trivial to you—
Like brands of soap or toilet tissue—
They’ll drag it out for all to view.

Yes, these are folks on a mission
That was ordained from high above—
They’ll supply you with nutrition
Of their twisted kind of love.

And if you say: “It was delicious,
But I still like my pork and beans,”
They’ll call you libelous and vicious,
Living in ignorance and sin.

And if you see these wondrous folks,
Here’s a small advice from me:
Don’t tell them any funny jokes—
They take themselves too seriously.


July 26, 2002
--Alexander Shaumyan