Ask Not What You Can Do For Your Country

Ask not what you can do for your country,
Just blow the President—
The leader of the free world,
Gently applying your tongue and your lips
Along the contours of his shaft,
Licking his balls but not so very fast,
Ask not why you do this or what it’s for,
You’ll be explained later
As he leaves his legacy in your mouth,
On your face and your dress—
You’re doing a great service for your country,
Because he needs his sleep and he won’t sleep
Tonight alone in his Oval Office
Unless you blow him...
It’s the issues we’re talking about—
The health care, the education,
The environment, and maybe bombing of some
Insolent Third World country now and then,
The Republicans have done it,
The Democrats have done it—
So blow your President discretely
In the Oval Office—
You’re doing great, darling,
Your country will be proud of you,
Save that dress that you wore tonight
As a special memento of what it means
To serve, to serve the great man
Who serves the country of ours...
Hell, Reagan fucked us and Bush fucked us,
And now you are serving that special purpose
Of being fucked by our Commander in Chief
That his wife won’t do,
Because she, too, is busy making speeches
And shaking hands, hugging babies,
The disadvantaged, and the sick,
And reading children’s stories
Of Cinderella and princes and princesses,
Where heroes and heroines actually
Fall in love
And live happily ever after...
So blow him, darling, because it’s love,
Because it’s a service to your country
And to your God,
Who watches the big Super Bowl game
Somewhere in Heaven
And blesses the great country of ours.
Blow him, darling, like Marilyn, blow him,
No one has to know, and besides
He’s working so hard on making headway
In our already booming economy...
So blow him, darling, blow him good,
And Anita Hill really fantasized about
Serving the great Clarence Thomas,
And Martin Luther King really had a dream
That some day we’ll be judged
Not by the color of our skin,
But by the way we can blow
Our leaders.


  January 25, 1998
--Alexander Shaumyan