THAT FIRST NIGHT…

Scared to death, locked in a cell,

Guys looking in, leave me alone I tell,

Fresh meat on the wing, I hear them try to sell,

My butt for the first who can take it, scared as hell!

In on a Friday night, locked down for the weekend,

No TV, nothing to read, nothing to write,

Played with myself, nothing else to do,

Had a toilet, a closet and bunk, twas my first clue…

I was there for the next three years,

Took some time, made friends, never raped,

Protected I was, this place not like that,

Only trying to scare me, they were, accomplished they did…

Therapy, talking, learning about the self,

All brought me to the point of release,

Still even fearful of going home,

Scared more to be released, than to live in there…

Wish I did then, I had more time, needed to work out a few more kinks,

Though my armor was built strong while there, things could have been better, stinks,

But it’s been 22 years without recommitting, never went back, others did though,

Recidivism rate quite high, but they don’t talk of those of us that did well,

I know quite a few, all got it together; all never did what first we did so well…

                     © ed – 5/27/04