My Conversation with Regret

Regret kept nagging at me, like a fly buzzing 
incessantly around my ear.
Zooming to and fro 
Turning sharply, cutting inward and outward,
curving into a circle, than cutting into
A half square.

Muttering and hissing,
At my failed attempts
missed opportunities, and
Not having the ability to “make things happen”
The only thing I was good at
Was “coming up short”

My only perfection was countless
Guilt’s of things that I ruined, and
could not fix, or correct no matter how
hard I tried…how hard I tried to make it right.

I could not get things 
“Back to Good”
I should just leave it in the mess
I know I was responsible 
For making.

Just shovel dirt on my 
Long ago misdeeds
Just leave things 
Out of order and in the wrong place

I was to far gone 
To repent
Repentance would
Be a lost cause

Regret said my past was riddled with poor decisions, and 
unwise choices.
That I was so far away from the clever or 
Intelligent,

Regret slowly dropped from it’s flight and 
Landed by my side, 
scolded me on my shameful ways,
I should be punished for my actions
And never forgiven

Because of my acts and decisions that I made
If I could of changed them, my 
Present and future would be so much different
A better fate and destiny my life for me and 
Others it would have been.

Regret said in a monotone voice
“To little to late”

Regret stared at me waiting for my response.

I breathe in and out, and then I responded,

Regret my chatting critic “It took me years of growth, age, and maturity to learn this.”

From experiencing my own highs and lows, peaks and valleys, and deep observation of myself and society,
an ongoing and never ending study of the 
environment, and my co-existence of
the people, animals, nature, climate,
and all the things around me,
on this planet that we 
call 
earth

Nothing is without fault or defect,
Nothing stays in a state of purity, strength, and high quality,
The beautiful people grow old, sunshine and clear
Skies give into rain and thunder, 
Flourishing crops and gardens, or 
Replaced with floods and famine
Nature has it’s rainbows, and snowflakes,
along with it’s tornadoes and hurricanes

Everything has it’s volatility

Humans are not, and never will be, nor was
Ever designed to walk a straight and
Narrow path of complete righteousness,
Perfection, morality, and flawlessness,

We are not computers programmed
To follow every detail of principle, law, or
Virtue

To error is to be human
To have fault is human nature
To make bad choices is inevitable

Very few people have a perfect track record

There are more people who make 
Bad choices than good ones

And circumstances sometimes causes
Poor decisions that does not 
Reflect how the person truly is

But the world is filled with second chances

We have a chance to make up the wrong that we have caused
And undo the harm that we have created

Some people will never forgive,
we cannot change other people’s perspectives 
and opinions

but we can change ourselves

But if we truly have a change of heart, and 
Change from our actions and ways, and 
Is sincere in all that we do 

It is not as important to ask for forgiveness,
Or to receive forgiveness,
Important above all
Is the ability to forgive ourselves

The spirit inside people will 
Feel the change, and
Know that the change is for real

And God will know your heart
And will provide

And he will change the inside
As well as the outside
The internal and 
external

For a person to reach their higher spiritual level,
That is the purpose of us all
No matter what background they come from

No matter what sins they have commited

The world and life is filled with “Start Overs”

but if we cannot learn and change our mistakes
than that is the true failure
but first a person must be given
the chance to do right
almost everything deserves a second chance
to find out the true ness, genuiness, and honesty
of the heart

So Regret I will not listen to your nagging, and annoyance no more “Fly away from here!”

You will not ridicule me with the past of the person
I once was,
Reminding me of my mishaps and blunders,
I walk a new path Regret

I have made peace, and 
I have let things go,
And any vile memories that you 
conjure up
I will learn from those memories
To make a more 
Better path for my future

I look to the future Regret with hope
Of becoming the person I want to be
And shedding the old skin
Of the person I once was

My new life is coming into more focus
And the old life is fading away

I cannot change past mistakes
But I can make better choices

To prevent further mistakes

And I can better relate to people who
Have made the same mistakes as me
So I can counsel and give good advice

And to not be so quick to judge others

So Regret to simply say to you

“I don’t do those things anymore”

If I’m blessed to live a long life
I will have new positions, wear many hats
, and become 3, 4 or 5 people in one lifetime,
and mistakes and regrets will happen 
again and again 

but I will learn to go on Regret
change, evolve, and change again

grow and become 
a better person from making and learning
from past mistakes.

And not let regrets deter me
From enjoying my life,

Antuan Rene’ Simmons
©Copyright 2012