“Just this once,” you used to say, but that was just a lie

You stole my innocence, and made your little brother cry

Not just when you touched my skin… throughout my whole existence

Nightmares! Flashbacks! Memories… pursued with great persistence

You would bring me to the basement, in the quiet of the night

I know you were a victim too. That doesn’t make it right

I know our uncle touched you once —outside by grandma’s shed

He shared a sickness with you, and you chose to help it spread

It wasn’t good enough to touch… you made me touch you back

You forced my face to parts unknown, while writhing on your back

Once was traumatizing, but this would last throughout a year

You filled a dwindling childhood with such painful, shameful fear

I’d go to school on Mondays with a wounded pubic bone

Surrounded by a hundred kids… you made me feel alone

A six-year old, should never feel the things you had me feeling

It wasn’t just that year, you took —Decades you were stealing

I did try to forget it all… once that nightmare passed

I’m glad I didn’t know back then, how long the pain would last

You messed my life up really bad —Without so much as trying

I cut myself! I’ve gone insane —I’ve envisioned myself dying

From fear, to shame, to hatred, that I carried far too long

To numbness, and insanity, before I could be strong

For thirty years, I’ve struggled with insatiable confusion

To finally, after all this time, achieve some restitution

Now, that I’m no longer numb, and I have found relief

Now, that I’ve survived abuse, and loss, and death, and grief

I’m finally letting go of all the hate and shame you made

I’ve learned to reach out for a pen, a lot more than a blade

I will never say I love you… and I cannot wish you well

But, you’re free from all my hatred, and now I’m free from Hell

You molested me… my sister! Now I’m writing so you know

My wounds have finally healed inside, but getting here was slow

One more thing I want to share —Important, that you see

The sickness that you tried to spread… I let it end with me