I

Surrounded by nature,

I ponder upon my past

Wondering where my life has gone

So many questions left unanswered

So many dreams abandoned or ruined

Flood my thoughts

As these reflections fill my head

I’m reminded of the past I once knew

And the one I wish I had known

Why can’t I forgive and forget

And let this pain in my heart flee

And restore my heart with eternal grace and love

So many tears have I shed

So many fears have plagued my heart like a specter

When will they fade away and go in peace?

II

As this year rolls into an end

Marking the beginning of not only a new

Fear but also of a new decade of hope

Prosperity and great expectations

It is in these times that we begin

To reflect upon who we are,

And how we came to be.

The men and women who showed us the way into

Enlightenment, and led us into a new direction

And to carry on their legacy

Through inspiration and creativity

All of humanity will win the day!

For we see a reflection in ourselves

In those who came before

Which will be repeated in

The coming generations

Who will see a reflection in us

In regards to who we are, who we were

Who we will be, and who we want

To be.

III

In the never-ending presence of God

And his angles I see the reflection of my past,

Present, and future and that of the whole world.

My faith in Him will take me down a path filled with milk

And honey, and assist me with conquering my goals

He will guide me when I am lost,

Heal my wounds and make me whole again

He will confirm and restore my faith

He will insure my success and my happiness

He is truly my savior, my deliverer my guiding light

In the dark. 

IV

I see the image of

A forgotten time

A specter of who I was

In comparison to what I have become

I alive and awaken with wonder

Like the phoenix I rise to meet a new dawn

A babe in swaddling clothes

To become a woman yet again

V

In the heart of darkness,

I sit alone,

Wondering where my life has gone

A deadly dose of silence fills the room

Like water pouring into a glass

VI

The comforting presence of light is gone,

And laid to rest until the rise of dawn

Silence acts as a catalyst to fill my soul

With trepidation

Which in turn transforms my body into

A statue

And my un eased mind

Then comes to the realization

That I am not alone

VII

I feel the presence of a specter

Following my every movement

Every breath, and every gaze

I cannot escape it, this soul who

Glides like night like a swan on water

This former human who wishes to reach out to

Me, why, why, why?

I cannot move out of fear

Fear of my own death

Yet nothing happens to me

It is only the specter herself

That glides away into the darkness

And I left alone

With my thoughts and woes