(A poem on the great 'fun' writers have finding a name for their characters.)

The Angst of Hero Naming

The tale of a hero beyond compare,
With flashing eyes and perfect hair.
Flawless words flowed from my head --
Until I reached that first damned said.

Now the true strife begins at last
As floundering in a sea of names, I'm cast.
Rosebud and Cloud are far too cute,
And he's no Bob, beyond dispute
Corwin? Hilton? Lane or Bard?
Naming a kid couldn't be half this hard!
A couple dozen names go by,
(My hero gives me the evil eye)
I search the shelves for baby name books
(Kept hidden to avoid occasional odd looks)
With frantic haste I start paging through,
No, no --Androcles will never do!
No Mac or Mark or Michael here
Such names are too plain, I fear.
Nicholas has a nice sound it's true --
But I've used it in a book or two.
So to stranger, archaic lists I turn
No he's absolutely not a Vern!
Trying to keep plot lines in my head -
Would what's-her-name take a Loki to bed?

Hours of writing time frittered away
That can't be the dawn of a new day!
I sit and curse that first damned said --
Oh the hell with it! I'll call him Fred.