I drive the ambulance
into the guy
hard enough to break his back
But I tell myself this is
Business
not personal
and we get out and load him on a gurney
unsympathetically
because I think some EMTs
are inured and jaded from this
Business
And that is my take on this character.
The director shoots a close-up
So I try to localize the drama in my face
"Playing it down"
As we say in the
Business
And he
DROPS THE FUCKING CAMERA.
Luckily it doesn't break
So we re-shoot the scene
six more times
sweating our asses off
in the hot sunlight
All for one line
In a student film
For no pay
All for one more credit
In the ol' theatrical resume
But credits are important in this
Business
And this director may also someday be important in this
Business
So we do another take
and another take
and another take
trying to do the exact same thing
the exact same way
and two hours later
I'm finally wrapped and I can leave
and race across town to work
at my actually PAYING theatrical
Business
And I'm almost late but not quite.
You CANNOT be late in this
Business.
I slap on my latex makeup
Turning my oh so pretty face
into a bloody nightmare
then slurp down ramen noodles
en route to the set
Feeling the makeup eating my face
Wondering if Tom Cruise ever did this
And the guests file in
I hit the lights
And cue the music
And get down to the
Business
Of leaping out of the dark
And screaming like a banshee
Some guests are scared
Some laugh
Some heckle
Some act like they want to fight
But all of them know
this theatrical freakshow
is just a
Business
after all.
They come and go
And I scream and scream again
For six hours
Under searing lights
In deafening music
Until my vocal cords
Feel like Ted Nugent's guitar strings
And we're finally done
And the director screams at me for my
choice of characterization
And almost fires me
But ultimately doesn't
And I go home thinking
There's No
Business
Like Show
Business
Like Show
Business
I Know.

(So...still want to be an actor?)