Let the record
Reflect
And Recollect
That
IN MY FILM...
Villains will NOT reel off a five-minute last-breath monologue
when they've got bullets in their lungs.
The lead actress will NOT be young enough to be the lead actor's SECOND daughter.
The hero WON'T say "Go on WITHOUT me" when he's shot, he'll scream
"GET BACK HERE, MOTHERF**KER, I've been SHOT, give me some F**KING FIRST AID!!!"
If there needs to be a song by VAN HALEN, then VAN HALEN plays it, not SLIPKNOT "Because they're HOT right now."
If you're DIRTY in one scene, you STAY dirty, you don't appear in the NEXT scene 'amazingly clean'.
CARS don't automatically EXPLODE in beautiful blinding fireballs when they go off a cliff, unless they're Pintos, and who the hell drives Pintos anymore, anyway.
You won't HAVE to drive your getaway car through the Fruit Cart unless you REALLY want to, or are really hungry.
You WILL have to reload your REVOLVER after firing seventeen times at the bad guy, though.
Girls won't TRIP and FALL when running from killers. They can still say "Joe, is that you?" And ignore the frantically barking dog, though.
Nobody will say "We CAN'T go to the police!" Because what the HELL are you paying TAXES for?
Yes,
On that shining day of originality
And reality
MY FILM
Will use NONE of those tired cliches...
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