Horse Preachers

You bought an incorrigible horse?

She rears when you bridle her,

He won’t stand when you mount,

She turns and runs to the gate when you ride,

And he kicks out when you tell him to go?

Well, buy my halter, pay double for my rope,

I have a new CD set that will cover any problem you have,

The cost is almost that of your saddle,

But, hey, it will fix all your problems!

And, I do clinics and symposiums,

You can use them as vacations,

After you see my magical techniques,

You can even train a wild mustang!

But don’t call me if you get hurt,

Or if you just can’t make it all work,

Just buy another book, or schedule to be at a clinic,

If you pay double, you can even bring your own horse.

I’ll spend a little time, make it all look quite simple,

Your steed and I will be loping around in no time.

You will be convinced of the magic I possess,

You will feel the thrill as you ride him when I’m done.

Once home, however, the magic soon comes undone.

In frustration you keep at it just a little longer,

Then your horse is listed in the classified ads,

And the halter, rope and CD collection,

Go to the highest bidder on E-bay.