what you don't realize what you don't realize as you take leave in the night is that i imagine you over my morning kohash, here, there and everywhere and yet you are never anywhere to be found in my bed, bath or kitchen. as i rinse my cup, a mirage of you struggling to manage hell high water splits my aching head; like some manic psychic, i see you everywhere and find you nowhere, tea leaves down my drain. driving your cold trail another foggy sunday, i envision your remains, gods forbid, in of all places, crushed in a passing flatbed beneath sacks of manure your throat clenched tight, as i sigh in welcome relief.