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Ruan Mills

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Anxiety
by Ruan Mills
Sunday, April 15, 2018

Rated "PG" by the Author.

       
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           >> View all 61


     If you've been there, you'll know this

The constant fear was finally consuming her! It was always there, lurking in the shadows, daring her to look in the mirror and deny its existence. Raising its ugly head in her reflection, it appeared tired, pale, and scarily unfamiliar. 

A chill ran down her spine as she acknowledged the noose at the end of her tether waving hypnotically in the breeze.

She had tried to ignore it but the wind whispered tauntingly and continuously through the fibres of the rope. She made herself look away and block her ears but its stark, evil image imprinted itself in her mind's eye; a firm reminder that her options were running out.

Her eyes darkened as panic gripped her chest and spread its burning fingers over her throat. With her breath coming in gasps, nerve ends vibrating and every pore crackling in that pocket of hell, she curled into a ball.

Her mind, seeking even the tiniest speck of light, found nothing to quell the raging storm inside her. Sounds distorted and cold crept into every bone. Darkness stretched to infinity above her and walls closed in until she could no longer move. She opened her mouth to cry out but there was no voice. She tried again, harder, but still nothing came.

Giving in to her fate, she silently sobbed. Nothing could save her from the vice-like grip. Her chest and throat ached so that she could barely swallow, and her mind recoiled in terror.  Until finally, accepting the futility of fighting, she closed her eyes and waited for the end.

The pressure of the walls slowly declines and a faint trace of air reaches her lungs. The iron fist clutching her chest loosens its grasp, leaving her bruised and battered, and she greedily gulps at the air, reaching for something solid, something tangible to steady her nerve.

Tentatively, she looks in the mirror. The fear is still there, laughing at her expense. It will be waiting.

 

 

 

Coming out of this, I remembered something I read somewhere. I don't remember exactly what or where I read it,  but it inspired me to write it all down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci 4/23/2018
Fantastic story! Let it be known.............I agree with Edward.

Love ya!

Jane
Reviewed by E Phillips 4/16/2018
This is a gripping tale that could have an even greater impact (if that is possible) if it were told in the first person. It would be more difficult to write, but you are an incredibly gifted writer who could bring that level of anguish to the page. What do you think?
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 4/16/2018
This seems almost too short for what is actually happening. My sister and niece had Agoura phobia. Their anxiety was going out in public and facing people. My sister would vomit at the thought her stomach would turn so much. For almost 30 years she barely left the house. Fortunately, they both got medication which helps them lead normal lives. My niece is now in a leadership role.

Rarely, usually when I'm working alone, I experience a phenomenon that I can only describe as a seizure where an uneasy feeling will start low in my body and move to the top of my head and I will be overcome by it, caught in a vice grip, unable to move and fearing that my death is imminent. I've learned that the only way to deal with it is not to fight it but relax and try to breathe deeply until it subsides gradually. It may be a extreme case of autonomic dysreflexia (extreme high blood pressure) that I have all the time--every time I urinate.

Ron
Reviewed by Eva Pasco 4/16/2018
Your gripping account has made me grateful for not having experienced such anguish you so vividly described. That's not to say I don't have my own package.

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