PEOPLE EITHER GET IT OR DON’T:
Understanding the “Something Inside

By
Bill Cottringer



I like Dr. Phil’s no-nonsense, simple explanation to the basic bottom line in life—“You either get it or you don’t.” But what is there to “get?” Here’s my best attempt to offer a clear understanding of what 62 years of a roller-coaster ride of both bliss, blessings and benefits, and bruises, broken bones, and bleeding have all led me to believe about getting it or not getting it.

We are all born with and struggle to understand a vague, but powerful, undeniable and nagging feeling of “something” inside. We react to this something in many trial and error ways of attempting to work, play, drink, eat, control, achieve, buy, steal, laugh, destroy or deny it away, in order to get the elusive “prize” of genuine success, authentic happiness and peace from the agitation and frustration of seemingly not getting anywhere in life. It is a vicious circle of trying to get something from doing something. But the something is not clear. And nobody else’s definitions or experiences seem to suffice.

Eventually, somewhere along the way in our voyage, we get tired of wrong, bumpy, dead-end, get no-where paths and start looking for the correct highway—reality as it is and not as we imagine it to be with our preferences, expectations, assumptions and biases. The correct path is the way to know what this ‘something” inside is all about. I suspect the package is the same for everyone; it is just the package wrappings—our misinterpretations and wrong reactions—that make up the differences.

The something and the correct path is the combination to the lock on being able to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be. The smartest approach is to learn the correct numbers and their sequence to open the lock, by doing two things simultaneously—moving the finish line closer (having a positive attitude and viewpoint of life) and running faster (being creative in avoiding wrong behavior and practicing right behavior).

Let me just take a chance and blurt this out with conviction and passion: This vague but powerful something inside is a densely-packed, succinct message—treasure map piece if you will—that our creator placed deep inside the DNA of our souls. The message is a clear, simple explanation of what the yang and yin of life are all about, what our unique purpose, role and contribution is to be, and all the success clues necessary to carry out this wisdom. The message is our blueprint to build the house that was already envisioned by the architect.

Some remote cultures say that the first development of language in children at around age two, wipes away this message memory. I suppose that is possible and maybe even logical since words often confuse reality. I know they seem to be doing that right now.

Seeing this something for what it really is turns out to be the biggest and hardest battle of life. For whatever reason, we seem to have to fail and fall first, before we figure out why, get up and then fall forward to success. Maybe we have to experience the darker, more unpleasant side of life—struggling with years of ignorance, frustration, hate, tragedy, and suffering, firsthand, before we are able to accurately recognize and really appreciate the lighter and more pleasant side of life—the joy of having moments of fun, understanding, happiness, satisfaction, love, goodness and peace.

One moment of lightness seems to erase years of darkness. This is the reality that validates the truth and utility of optimism. And it is such moments that gradually help us better prepare to succeed in each of the inevitable, coming tests ahead. In the end we find out that our life performance is rewarded by the level of character we allow to survive through adversity, by standing tall and not caving in, despite the tepid temptation of the alluring distractions.

More than anything else though, an accurate understanding of this something inside is the only way to make a powerful enemy of failure into a friend of success. What keeps us from doing this? Probably our own thick skin and allegiance to self, ego and pride of “beating” life our own way. But the problem is in the narrow definition that many of us are inclined to give to living life “our way.”

Our way often turns out to be ineffective because of the limitations of a narrow definition of two small words that are so important. The more failure and success clues you can include in your understanding and definition of this something inside, the better the chances for finding your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So get your magnifying glass out to take a better look! You’ll know when you are on the right path because it is the only one that can get you there.

Welcome back to reality: A few of us get external academy awards for our performance in life but most don’t; however, a much more valuable internal academy award is available to everyone. I don’t have to be a rich and famous New York Times’ best-selling author to access my pot of gold; just knowing with certainty, courage and comfort that I am truly beginning to understand this something inside me is enough real reward to have enough sense to give up my wrong paths and keep on plodding this right one I am on. Gradually, I will accumulate more successes than failures. But I will probably be too busy to notice the difference.


William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA. He is author of You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too and The Bow-Wow Secrets: How Dogs Life a Simple Life & People Don’t. Bill welcomes comments at (425) 454-5011 or bcottringer.pssp.net.