An Unusual
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION…
by William Cottringer


It's not too early to be thinking about a New Year's resolution. Dare to be different this year. Be successful! All you have to do is give up the dumbest belief you can have. What is this dumbest belief?

Mary desperately wants to improve the quality of her relationship with John, but he's the one who needs to be more communicative and emotionally supportive. Jan wants to start her own business but lets her family responsibilities and practical financial considerations take priority over her dreams. Jack is getting frustrated at work. He is beginning to think he has no control over the assignments he has been getting, which aren't to his liking. What do these three different people have in common?

According to Dr. Cottringer, there is one simple New Year's resolution we should all consider making. This is to give up the false belief that we don't really have the power to create our own realities and change things in our favor. This is a small decision you can make right now that will get BIG results immediately.

There are people who know they can do whatever they put their mind to do, just do it, and become big successes. And then there are those people who let their doubts get in the way and never see success. Which group do you want to be in?

Take this simple little test to see what group you are in. Use the following key to indicate how often these things are true for you. Circle the number that represents your estimate. Add your total score and check the interpretation at the bottom.

1 = Hardly Ever 3 = Rarely 5 = Sometimes 7 = Often 10 = Almost Always

1. I verify all my assumptions by asking a lot of questions. 1 3 5 7 10
2. I smile a lot and am unusually friendly and approachable. 1 3 5 7 10
3. I have taken great effort to understand myself and others. 1 3 5 7 10
4. I have strong determination and I don’t quit things. 1 3 5 7 10
5. I control my negative emotions, especially anger. 1 3 5 7 10
6. I go out of my way to be humble, polite and kind to people. 1 3 5 7 10
7. I am open-minded & vary my approaches until I get good results. 1 3 5 7 10
8. I am completely self-confident in my ability to succeed. 1 3 5 7 10
9. I translate my dreams into concrete goals and specific actions. 1 3 5 7 10
10. I am positive and hopeful especially during adversity. 1 3 5 7 10

Scoring Key
10-35 = Unsuccessful 36- 64 = Undecided
65 -100 = Definitely Successful


There is really nothing to keep you from achieving your dreams except YOU. All you have to do is understand how to think successfully, use the right determination and become likable in getting along with others. How can it get any easier than that?

Let’s use a popular paradox—You can’t have your cake and it too. Unsuccessful people believe this, but the successful ones take up the challenge and figure out how they can have their cake and eat it too.

Author and success coach Dr. Bill Cottringer shows how you can have your cake and eat it too, only he uses the more popular word "cheese" in his book, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too. © 2002

Dr. Cottringer used the "cheese" paradox to uncover the main problem most people have and spot an easy solution to correct it. The main problem is getting out of balance in important areas of your life and then not seeing that or worse yet, seeing it and allowing laziness or fear of change to paralyze you from doing anything about it. Imbalance keeps you from seeing how to avoid sacrificing what you really want and having to settle for second best. By being in balance, you are your own cheese factory.

People sabotage part of their chances for success by not using quality thinking—making too many wrong assumptions, not asking enough good questions, and not digging below the surface to spot important relationships. More success is sabotaged by not using determination—self-understanding, self-control and intrinsic motivation—to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be. The last third of success is blocked by unlikable behavior—negativity emotionality, lack of empathy, arrogance, rudeness and dishonesty.

What is "cheese?" Cottringer's definition is "Anything you think you want that you think you can get by doing something." There is small cheese in the way of enjoyable material things—money, houses, jobs, cars, etc. and there is bigger cheese in the way of genuine contentment—happiness, peace of mind and real success. Solving this cheese paradox was important to Cottringer, because he has always been "greedy," wanting both little and big cheese at the same time, but often getting neither.

So how do you get in better balance to have your cheese and eat it too and double your pleasure? It's easy. Think better, understand how to use your determination and become more likable. Here are some everyday, practical solutions Cottringer offers people who have made the choice to make the New Year’s resolution to be successful:

• THINK BETTER. Figure out smart and clever ways to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be by running faster and bringing the finish line closer, both at the same time. Re-arrange the order in which you approach things and avoid impossible either-or choices. Vary your approach until you get the results you want.
• USE YOUR DETERMINATION. Get to know yourself better. Take a close look at all the little gaps that make up the overall gap between where you are and where you want to be. Start controlling your negative reactions to situations and find productive things to do that are intrinsically rewarding. Do the right thing for the right reasons.
• BECOME MORE LIKABLE. Forget about other people’s unlikability. Focus on yourself. Improve your likability. Get a long better with people by smiling, being positive and up-beat, polite, humble, non-judgmental, honest, smart and empathetic.

Imagine yourself in your car passing a bus stop on a freezing, snowy winter day. You see three people there you want to give a ride to, but you only have room for one. There is a little old lady who is dying and trying to get to a hospital, there is your best friend who saved your life a year ago, and there is your dream lover. Who do you choose? Read Dr. Cottringer's book and you will give your car keys to your best friend for him to drive the old lady to the hospital while you warm up your dream lover, waiting for the next bus!

Dr. Cottringer's book is full of other practical ways to get more by doing less that have been field tested during the past forty years in a variety of careers ranging from law enforcement to mental health to building maintenance. A few of these tricks are "one mouth talking and two-eared listening;" using your eyes, voice and smile to increase the power of your likability; flavoring your outward appearance with inward happiness; and merging creativity, logic and practical common sense into successful thinking.

William Cottringer is a success coach, writer and college teacher in St. Louis. You can order his book, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too at www.eep.com (New Releases), www.authorsden.com/williamscottringer or through any major on-line bookstore. He can be reached at (618) 288-4956 or ckurtdoc.charter.net