THE LAST HURDLE
By
William Cottringer


The last hurdle to full self-actualization is the most difficult one: Becoming who you think you already are. It is a major accomplishment to get your head, heart and hands working as a team in order to help you arrive on the other side of your shadow. Which side of your shadow are you on? Here is a self-assessment on ten important life areas that you can use to determine the answer to this compelling question. Remember, many of your most prominent thoughts and beliefs are just there to remind you to actually live them.

SELF

Are you just exploring and getting to know yourself or do you have a fairly complete and accurate self-understanding? Are you still trying to build self-confidence or do you understand the wisdom of insecurity? Do you still have bouts of letting your self-control slip such as engaging in a minor dose of road rage, or have you mastered the art of self-control?

MORALITY

Are you still looking for ways to determine right from wrong or do you make thoughtful choices based upon valid ethical tests such as the categorical imperative, utilitarianism, or the Golden Rule? Do you make a distinction between legal, moral, and ethical decisions, or are you more inclined to see them all as more or less inseparable? Do you give into minor infractions such as taking a questionable deduction on your tax return or do you always travel the higher road and resist any and all temptation?

RELATIONSHIPS

Are you still looking for an unconditional, truly loving relationship or are you enjoying one now? Do you make more promises than you can keep or do you always follow through with all your promises? Are you still lingering with a partially selfish agenda or are you practicing genuine, unselfish altruism with others?

WORK

Are you just working at a job or have you found a fun, challenging, and rewarding career that satisfies all your needs and uses all your talents? Are you focusing on performing at the same level as everyone else in your field or are you being 100% productive against your own standards? Are you working toward a healthy retirement or leaving a valuable legacy?

APPEARANCE

Are you dissatisfied with your appearance or happy with the way you look? Do you have things you can improve about your appearance or is your appearance the best it can be? Is there some disagreement between your inner and outer selves or does your outer self accurately reflect your inner harmony and happiness?

LIFESTYLE

Are you just finding out what your most important values are or are you actually living your life around your most important values? Do you focus more on your mind’s wants or on your soul’s needs? Are you out of balance in one area of your life or have you achieved a healthy balance in all areas?

THINKING

Are you still hiding behind the illusion of certainty or are you beginning to question what you think you know? Are you still developing your mental skills of logic, creativity and common sense or are you using these skills in a balanced manner to solve problems effectively? Are you busier having thoughts or translating your thoughts into action?

SPIRITUALITY

Are you still trying to surrender to a higher power or have you already surrendered? Are you still trying to get closer to God or are you in an active partnership with Him? Is your free will still fighting its destiny or are they one and the same?

EMPATHY

Are you trying more to be understood yourself or to understand other people’s thoughts, feelings and perspectives? Are you busier trying to understand other people or accepting them? Do people see you as opinionated, insensitive, and judgmental or tolerant, sensitive, and accepting?

PURPOSE

Are you still looking for some ultimate purpose to your life or have you found your special gift and unique mission in life? Do you spend more time thinking about your main purpose or carrying it out? Are you busier concentrating on your own purpose or on helping others to find theirs?

Hopefully many of your answers are on the right side of the question, meaning that you have at least caught up to your shadow. If you are already on the right side of your shadow, help others to get there too.


William Cottringer is a Success Coach, Sport Psychologist, College Teacher and Writer in Glen Carbon, IL. He is author of You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too. He can be reached at ckurtdoc.charter.net