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Joseph W. Montaperto

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Member Since: Mar, 2013

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Blogs by Joseph W. Montaperto

SHE LOVES IT!!
7/25/2023 9:14:03 PM


It'sthe day where Joey is finally bringing Esperanza up to his school art room to view his masterpiece - the mural of Esperanza, when he faces an unexpected obstacle...
My blood goes frigid, my heart surges up, and nearly jumps out of my freaking throat. The good feeling, the pleasant trance, is smashed to pieces. God. I’ll look like a total asshole if I bring her all the way down here for nothing!
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Frantically, desperately, I pound the door.
“Somebody open the door!! Somebody open the door!! It’s not four o’clock yet!! It’s not four o’clock yet!!” I shriek, in a sustained blood curdling mania.
I keep banging like that for about a minute, until the bound of heavy footsteps come thumping down the stairs inside. The door crashes open, and the burly figure of Hoss, the security guard, fills up the doorway. His eyes flash with rage.
“What the hell is wrong with you boy?! Are you crazy?!” He rants in his deep southern drawl.
“Hoss – Hoss – listen - I gotta get in, man - please! It’s real important!”
“I said the damn school is closed!!
“But – but –“
“I don’t want to have to tell you again!”
Now, Esperanza appears before him, sashaying sexily up the steps.
Hoss’s eyes light way the f*** up. His attitude does an instant and complete 180, as he just gawks at Esperanza. He’s totally mesmerized.
After about thirty seconds, he regains his composure.
“Well, well now! Why didn’t you just say you had such a beautiful young lady with you, son? Now, that’s a horse of a different color.” he coos in his best Southern gentleman manner, opening the door, and practically bowing.
A horse of a different color? What? Had Hoss just watched The Wizard of Oz, or something?
“Come in, come in - watch your step there now, Miss.”
He takes her hand as he leads her in.
“Archibald Dawkins at your service, ma’am, but you can call me Hoss.” He kisses her hand, as Esperanza steps into the building.
“Hi Hoss, I’m Esperanza,” she giggles flirtatiously.
“Miss Esperanza, if you don’t mind me saying so, may I declare that you are the finest young lady I have ever had the pleasure to lay my eyes upon.” Esperanza titters. I can’t believe she’s tittering at this bullshit.
“Oh, thank you, Hoss, that’s very nice of you.”
“Mmm-mmm, yes indeed”.
I have never heard Hoss say much of anything before, let alone get all fluffy like this.
“We need to go up to the art room, Hoss, OK?” I cut into the hypnosis.
“Sure! Sure, not a problem, young man. Not a problem at all! Come on up.”
His eyes are laser-focused on Esperanza. We bounce up the stairs, Hoss following. His gaze is cemented on her ass, as he is whistling softly to himself.
As we approach the art room, he detaches the ring of keys from his belt loop. Searching for the correct one, he never averts his eyes from Esperanza, a permanent smile creasing his face.
All my hopes, aspirations, and intentions are locked up in my breath, right before we enter. This is the proverbial moment of truth. He opens the door, we glide in, and he turns on the lights.
“Um…there it is, Esperanza,” I choke, as I point to the mural in the back. She looks up at it and stares, her face going completely blank. I’m panting, trying to figure out what she’s thinking.
“Do…do you like it?” I question hesitantly.
“Boy’s a fine artist, Miss Esperanza, a fine artist, yes indeed.” Hoss cuts in.
Suddenly, she just breaks out crying! I mean, really bawling, as she puts her hands up to her face. I stand there paralyzed. Confused, not knowing how to react, and not understanding anything.
“There, there, now, Miss Esperanza, it’s alright, it’s alright.” Hoss offers her the handkerchief from his pocket, and puts his arm around her, comforting her! She melts into his chest, burying her head, weeping, as he continues to console her.
What the f***?! What the hell is going on here?!
“Es – Esperanza…what’s the matter?”
“Oh papi!” She pries herself away from Hoss’s arms, and now hugs me tightly, sniffling as she talks.
“Oh my God…nobody…nobody ever done anything like this for me before,” she sighs deeply, and begins kissing me all over my face.
“Oh, Dios mio, you are the sweetest thing…”
“You…you like it then?”
“Oh baby, I love it!”
Now she kisses me right on the lips! Sticks her tongue in there, and we are frenching away, for, like, I don’t know, maybe five minutes! I feel like I’m going to faint, and have to make a tremendous effort to steady myself. She recognizes it, and holds me tightly.
Hoss stands there in the background, probably stunned, definitely wishing he was me right now! Now this is the best moment of my life.
“It is so beautiful, baby…thank you, thank you, thank you…”
She alternates from kissing me, to wiping her tears away with the handkerchief.
“I gotta give you another trim, papi,” she says as she gazes at me, running her fingers through my curls.


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More Blogs by Joseph W. Montaperto
•  SHE LOVES IT!! - Tuesday, July 25, 2023  

• A FANTASY? - Friday, June 16, 2023
• OPERATION RESCUE ESPERANZA! - Friday, June 16, 2023
• SADNESS - Friday, June 16, 2023
• THE SCORE - THE SCARE - Thursday, March 2, 2023
• HALLOWEEN - Monday, January 30, 2023
• BACK TO WORK - Sunday, January 8, 2023
• THE SHOWDOWN - Sunday, December 11, 2022
• THE CHEETAH - Sunday, December 11, 2022
• THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION - Sunday, October 2, 2022
• THE CONSEQUENCES - Thursday, September 8, 2022
• A FINISHED PRODUCT - Sunday, August 7, 2022
• THE ETTA JAMES VIBE - Monday, June 20, 2022
• THE TRIBUTE - Tuesday, May 31, 2022
• IT'S GOING DOWN! - Monday, May 16, 2022
• THE MORNING AFTER - Monday, April 18, 2022
• THE SAVOY - Sunday, March 27, 2022
• THE BIG NIGHT - Tuesday, March 1, 2022
• THE SPEECH - Monday, February 7, 2022
• THE SCHEME - Friday, January 14, 2022
• HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED! - Thursday, January 6, 2022
• THE PUNISHMENT - Wednesday, December 8, 2021
• THE CHASE - PART 2 - Friday, November 26, 2021
• THE CHASE - Monday, November 8, 2021
• OBSTACLES TO LOVE!! - Friday, October 15, 2021
• THE CALL - Sunday, October 3, 2021
• A SUDDEN PAIN - Tuesday, September 7, 2021
• A DREAM - Tuesday, August 24, 2021
• A BRAVE NEW WORLD - Sunday, August 8, 2021
• THE MAN - Sunday, July 18, 2021
• THREE GUYS - Monday, June 21, 2021
• THE NA-NA SURPRISE! - Sunday, June 6, 2021
• THE END OF AN ERA - Thursday, May 20, 2021
• THE CELEBRATION! - Friday, May 7, 2021
• THE INTERVIEW - Wednesday, April 21, 2021
• THE FAMILY - Thursday, April 8, 2021
• THE FOX HOLE!! - Sunday, March 28, 2021
• JACK THE BARBER IS A DICK!! - Saturday, March 6, 2021
• THE CONFLICT OF JACK'S BARBER SHOP - Saturday, February 13, 2021
• I MUST SAVE ESPERANZA!! - Thursday, January 28, 2021
• WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! - Wednesday, January 13, 2021
• WHAT HAPPENED?! PART 2 - Wednesday, December 30, 2020
• WHAT HAPPENED?! - Monday, December 14, 2020
• CUMBERLAND FARMS EDUCATION - Saturday, November 21, 2020
• THANK GOD FOR MY MUSTACHE! - Saturday, October 31, 2020
• NA-NA JOHNSON - Saturday, October 17, 2020
• THE SCARE - Tuesday, October 6, 2020
• THE BIG FIGHT - Monday, September 21, 2020
• THE PICNIC PANTS EPISODE - Wednesday, September 9, 2020
• THE KISS - Saturday, August 22, 2020
• THE MOD SHAG AFRO - Tuesday, August 4, 2020
• THE MAGICAL MEETING - Monday, July 20, 2020
• THE ERADICATION OF ENORMO - THE HUMAN BUTT - Saturday, June 27, 2020
• ESPERANZA - Tuesday, June 16, 2020
• THE TRIALS OF WEATHERBEE H.PEABODY - Saturday, May 30, 2020
• THE PILGRIM GIRL - Wednesday, May 13, 2020
• THE CALLING - Monday, April 20, 2020
• MORE THRILLS FROM THE 70s! - Tuesday, March 31, 2020
• THE 70s AND NOW - CONTINUED - Wednesday, March 11, 2020
• EXHIBIT B - THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE 70's AND NOW - Wednesday, February 19, 2020
• THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE 70's AND TODAY - Tuesday, January 28, 2020
• PROJECTILE CHILI - Friday, January 17, 2020
• RESTAURANT MANAGERS WHO HAVE TORMENTED ME - Friday, January 17, 2020
• THE LEGEND OF DAVID ROSS - Monday, January 13, 2020
• THE LEGEND OF DUNCAN VALIANT - Monday, January 13, 2020
• IT HAPPENS EVERY CATERING SEASON - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• A HORRIFIC CATERING EVENT - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• WHERE ARE MY BUTTER PEOPLE? - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• LISTS - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• A MOST UNFORTUNATE PAIRING - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• LA VENDETTA 2 - A HEARTWARMING CHRISTMAS TALE - Wednesday, December 25, 2019
• LA VENDETTA - Saturday, November 23, 2019
• Nobody Gets Out Of Catering Alive - Friday, November 22, 2019
• Christmas Holiday at our house - Wednesday, December 10, 2014
• The Edge of Whiteness - Friday, November 14, 2014
• The Edge of Whiteness - Friday, October 31, 2014