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Parental Advice 1/8/2005 2:55:03 AM
"Always wear clean underwear in case you are in an accident."
This addage has always disturbed me. Is Mom saying that I'm more likely to have an accident if I'm wearing dirty shorts, or that I'm going to have an accident anyway so it's good to be clean?
Actually, this advice is predicated on a word made archaic during the Clinton years, 'shame' (along with other words like 'truth', 'is', and 'unfaithfulness'). Once upon a time we lived in a society that had certain conventions, like 'responsibility' and 'common courtesy'and 'clean underwear', rules that no longer hamper us.
True story: I was first on the scene at my brother's fatal accident in 1973 and his pants had ripped through the crotch from front to back. Always a rebel, he found a way to circumvent Mom's advice . . . he wasn't wearing any underwear!
It's a moot point, really. In my experience, no matter how clean your underwear is before the accident, I can guarantee it won't be after the accident.
