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Blogs by Dorien Grey
You & Me...& Everybody Else
6/7/2010 2:33:48 AM
Why does "everybody" never seem to include you and me?
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From Dorien Grey and Me (http://www.doriengreyandme.com)
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Don’t you love the TV and movie ads that tell you not to miss the show that “Everybody is talking about!” This is often for a book, tv show, or movie that isn’t even out yet. That “everybody” is talking about it strikes me as a tad unlikely, but hey...would an advertiser or a movie studio or a tv network lie?
And of course the implication is that since I’m not talking about it (and I’d take a wild guess in thinking you’re not talking about it either), we’re obviously pretty stupid. The world, it seems, is divided into “Everybody”...the ones who really count...and you and me, who are beyond the pale of true knowledge and sophistication.
“Everybody knows” has long been one of my favorite expressions. Again, the fact that I may not know whatever it is again puts me outside looking in. And even the fact that maybe I do know and just don’t give a rat’s behind implies I am something of an outsider—hardly “Stop the Presses!” news.
Society constantly hands out invisible but detailed specifications of what “everyone” is or should be, and the fact that in truth almost no one fits those specifications is of no concern to society, despite the often very real anguish it can create in those who really want to “belong”.
Why do you suppose your computer mailbox is crammed with wondrous offers absolutely guaranteeing to make you (if you’re a man) more virile or better endowed? Because men have been brainwashed by the “bigger is better” garbage they’ve all been spoon-fed since they first became aware of sex. They watch porn videos in which the men are, I have no doubt, selected for their genital endowments. And though it isn’t the men in porn videos that heterosexual men are interested in, they can hardly be unaware of the fact. And since it is unlikely that they...uh...measure up...it sends the clear message that they are inferior to other men.
But the implication is clear in all of these messages: you are inferior to everyone else.
Women are forever, relentlessly, and ruthlessly bombarded with totally unrealistic images of what they must be—and, most tellingly in our society—what they must buy if they want to be like “everybody else”.
Teenagers represent are a classic example of the “everybody else” syndrome. Rebellion is in fact a teenager’s form of being like “everybody else.” A fad in talk or dress or music will spring up on TV or YouTube and teens will rush pell-mell to be like everyone else in adopting whatever it is, until everybody is indeed like everyone else, at which point a new fad will arise.
The fact is that nobody is or could possibly be like “everybody else.” But that does not make the slightest dent in the ironclad conviction that we, as individuals, are obviously inferior for not being like “everybody else”.
I’ve never been like “everybody else.” I have never wanted to be like “everybody else.” I have worked very hard all my life to avoid it. It’s not always an easy path to walk, of course, but it is the one I have chosen, and I have never regretted it.
The fact that I am sure you know exactly what I’m saying means that you, too, have had many of the same feelings/experiences/reactions. So it may not be so much a matter of you and me being on on one side of the window with “everybody” on the other, but merely that the window is not a barrier so much it is simply a reflective surface.
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Thanks for coming by. There'll be a new posting next Monday. In the meantime, please feel free to visit my website at http://www.doriengrey.com
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