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Blogs by Dorien Grey
Oh, the Nobility!
8/27/2012 5:16:49 AM
Appreciate what you have while you have it.
While modesty should forbid my endlessly singing my own praises, as you probably have noticed, it does not. It struck me this morning how truly noble and brave I am. I was for whatever reason going over a litany of my woes, prompted yet again by being in a restaurant and watching people eat. Biiiiggg bite. Chew, chew, chew…look of concentrated pleasure…swallow absolutely effortlessly without a nanosecond of thought…another Biiiiggg bite…repeat. And I am tempted to walk over to them and slap them silly, yelling: Appreciate it, you twit! But I don’t. No, basking in the gentle glow of the halo over my head, I merely open my mouth as wide as I can...which is to say less than the equivalent of two fingers width...to take a tiny mouse-bite, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew endlessly, waiting for the correct amount of saliva to form to notify my throat that it is time to swallow; finally realizing that I have no longer have salivary glands and therefore cannot let my throat know it should swallow, taking a sip of water/coffee/milk and swallowing. This has been going on for eight years now…you’d think it would stop coming as a surprise to realize I not only can’t do what I used to do or what just about everyone else does, but that I will never be able to eat normally again.
(Here…have a Kleenex. Wipe your eyes. Blow your nose.)
I go to morning coffee with my friend Gary, who orders a large breakfast sandwich and a stick pastry made largely of filo dough. I order a stick pastry and coffee. By the time Gary has pushed his empty plate aside and gotten a second cup of coffee I have finished perhaps half of my pastry and as many sips of coffee as were necessary to wash down the mouse-bites.
(Can I borrow the box of Kleenex a moment?)
I cannot whistle. I cannot stick my tongue far enough out of my mouth to lick my lips. I have little or no control over my mouth. My lips are constantly pursed as if in prissy disapproval. When I open my mouth to talk, I have to be very careful that the whatever-the-liquid-is-that-somehow-forms-in-the-front-of-my-mouth does not pour out making me appear to be in contention for the Village Idiot award. I am considering getting a bib, because I can’t go through a “meal” without having the front of my shirt covered with crumbs, drops of coffee, or various droplets of one sort or another.
And as I finished that last paragraph, I was overcome with shame. To call anyone, even myself, a Village Idiot is insulting and demeaning to those people at whom the charge is directed. They don’t intend to be the way they are; they have no control over it. They certainly didn’t choose it. Nor did I, of course
And I would really like to think…the danger of self-delusion ever present…that one of the reasons I am constantly bombarding you with my bitchings and moanings and “poor me”s is to remind both of us just how precious even the smallest things in life are. We…both you and me…really give very little thought to just how lucky we are to be experiencing this speck in time we call life. It isn’t always easy, and in fact can be incredibly hard for some, but it is still an astonishing gift, given only once and for a very short time. The very least we can do is appreciate it and try not to squander it.
You're cordially invited to stop by my website at www.doriengrey.com
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