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Blogs by Russell A Vassallo
Tanked 6/20/2016 6:49:36 AM
I had been practicing law for about five years when a truly attractive blond was sent to me as a client. Donna and I frequently had lunch or dinner together because she was bright and very entertaining. She had been living with a local cop for about three years, decided it was time to move on, and the two separated. That didn't end the fight over their possessions though and for about a year we wrangled over everything from bed sheets to the family pet.
We were in court so many times the judges heard our case during lunch. But finally we worked out every joint item of property except for their salt water marine tank. This was a five hundred gallon tank with fish ranging from twenty to one hundred dollars and neither party wanted to give it up. The other attorney refused to budge and made a Motion to have the matter heard in court to determine ownership.
I took Donna to dinner one evening and asked her how badly she really wanted these fish. She confided that she was just making things difficult for her ex. I guess she saw a certain look in my eye and asked what I had in mind. I asked if she had four friends who would deliver the tank to the office of the other attorney. She said she did.
On the following Saturday her friends appeared, moved the tank into a pick up and brought it to the lawyer's office. The office was closed so they set it right in front of his door. That Monday he attempted to open his office but could not move the tank as it weighed approximately two hundred pounds. He had to have a mover come in so he could get into his office.
We appeared in court the following Friday, and the Judge called us into his office to see if he could get us to settle the matter. When my adversary told him what I had done, the Judge could not constrain himself and promptly leaned too far back in his swivel chair and fell over. The fall did not stop his laughing.
In Morristown, N.J., there is the legend of the fish tank blocking the door to a lawyer's office, and there are still men there who know that it is true.
