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Blogs by Joseph W. Montaperto
LA VENDETTA 11/23/2019 6:49:10 PM
THis is one of my regular blogs - if you enjoyed it - go to my website at www.joemontaperto.com to see more. The guy's name was Gentile. We called him Mr. Gentile cuz we're kind of polite kids. It was my first REAL lesson in dealing with an adult bullshit artist. He's known as a devout family man, a good Catholic, God fearing, tax paying citizen.
A real PILLAR of the community type, y'know? He has this nice house in Roselle, NJ - on the street where me and my cousins and some of the neighborhood kids play stickball.
It's the summer of 1976. I've suddenly got 'big', thanks to a steady regiment of weightlifting, boxing and exercise. Gentile sees this as a PERFECT opportunity to exploit me. Says he's putting up a new Fabco shoestore in Hoboken,NJ - and if I dismantle and clean out the previous store that had been there, he would pay me BIG MONEY when it was done - AND gimme a job after school, to boot. SO, of course, I'm totally down with it.
Now, Gentile has these delusions that he's, like, Sonny from 'A Bronx Tale', or something. Pinky ring. Gold chains. Wears WAY too much Aqua Velva, and the overdose of Vitalis in his hair makes the wave upfront permanently crunchy.
In reality, he's just a short, pudgy guy with glasses. So. He drives me to Hoboken every morning in his silver Cadillac, regaling me with tales of grandeur, while constantly chewing Trident gum. The conditions I slave away in day after nasty day are oppressively brutal. A dusty, musty building with not even so much as a f***in' fan to help relieve the relentless summer humidity. Probably saved thousands from not having to hire a union demolition crew.
Then...on the day the store opens - he unceremoniously FIRES me! And acts real cavalier about it too. Like nothing happened. Dissed. At first, I'm confused about the whole thing - like WTF? Then when I realize what happened - I am PISSED! PLAYED! This guy just clowned me, man. Alright, what goes around comes around, y'know?
Finally, I see the PERFECT opportunity. It's right around Halloween, and Gentile has these two jack o' lanterns on his front steps - with candles inside to light up the night, right? So one night me and my cousin Skinny sneak over there with a bunch of packs of firecrackers we have left over from the 4th of July. Skinny delays the fuses, tosses them into the jack o' lanterns, we ring the doorbell, and bolt across the street, cracking up like maniacs, and hide behind the bushes.
Gentile opens up the door, sees nobody is there, and starts making threats into the night air. Like he's a real tough guy, y'know? All of a sudden, the firecrackers start going off - BANG! BANG! BANG! Gentile is jumping around like - like - he's being hit. Like a f***in' MOB hit, or something! Hahahaha! Finally the pumpkins EXPLODE - and the insides splatter all over Gentile's head, face, and glasses. Me and Skinny are DYIN', man...Skinny laughs like a crow, like that cartoon - Heckle and Jekyll - it's just his natural laugh - which serves to infuriate Gentile even more. He's shaking his fist, cursing out into the night, but he can't see a f***in' thing cuz - 1. It's pitch dark outside, and 2. - he's got pumpkin shit all over his glasses! Hahahahah...revenge is sweet, man.
