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Blogs by Joseph W. Montaperto
THE 70s AND NOW - CONTINUED 3/11/2020 9:52:58 PM
The continuation of how certain behavior that was alright in the 70s would now get you a lifetime sentence in a maximum security prison!! I don’t know - the ease in which we broke into Daniel Webb’s house to eat all the raisins out of their Raisin Bran? It only seemed to EMBOLDEN us, make us giddy. It was just SO much fun, we decided - oh, we should definitely branch out with our endeavors. I mean, why only eat the raisins out of their Raisin Bran when we were capable of so much more? Intoxicated with our new-found prowess, it was decided between us that we had barely scratched our vast potential up until this point!
We reasoned that they would be gone for hours on Saturday - so why should we restrict ourselves to merely eating all the RAISINS out of the Raisin Bran? Why not more? At this point, our minds begin to fill with all sorts of delightful ideas! Our next step is to eat all their Cool Whip - and replace it with shaving cream ( back in those days, shaving cream had no menthol smell, or anything - it was just plain), of course, we would continue to spy on them at dinnertime, having ourselves a fabulous laugh when his mother made a strawberry shortcake - using the shaving cream as frosting!
Soon, we begin cooking hamburgers and watching TV at their house while they’re away. Before we leave, we lock all the doors from the inside - effectively locking them out of their own house...it is becoming a truly blissful routine, and has the effect of restoring our battered self esteem from the horrors of high school. One by one, we embark on ever more hilarious activities - drinking half their bottle of Schweppes Ginger Ale and replacing it with tap water (they always think it has gone flat), and - finally, removing all the furniture, pictures, rugs and bikes from their front porch - while they were actually home, watching TV in the living room, no less - and hiding it in the tool shed in their backyard. But more on that one later. We’re not finished yet - oh,no!
Our crowning, most AUSPICIOUS activity, however is what we consider our coup de grace - our GRAND finale.
Ah yes - a stroke of pure genius! We decide to do the unthinkable - switching their entire living room - with their bedroom furniture!! Their bedroom was upstairs - we bring down their bed, the bureau with the mirror on top, the night table - EVERYTHING - and bring the couch, the TV, the stereo up to the bedroom! Hahahahaha….I shit you not! We are beside ourselves with glee, doubled over with laughter, for at least an hour. This is the proudest we have ever been of ourselves, as we feel we’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty! We cannot WAIT till they come home so we can see their reaction…
When the time is almost there for them to arrive home - we position ourselves in the bushes so we can get a good view. The car pulls up....Mr Webb gets out, followed by the rest of the family and opens the door to the living room…
“What the hell - ?"
These poor people - what did they ever do to deserve this?!
