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Joseph W. Montaperto

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Member Since: Mar, 2013

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Blogs by Joseph W. Montaperto

THE TRIALS OF WEATHERBEE H.PEABODY
5/30/2020 9:58:59 PM


With their spirits and innocence being crushed by the rough kids in their first year at the newly racially integrated high school in 1973, Joe and Skinny start a rumor about an absurd fictitious character!
It was over. I mean, we have NO chance - Skinny and me, that is. The year after The Pilgrim Girl was unceremoniously pushed in the mud on Thanksgiving Day, the previously very white Roselle High is forcefully racially integrated - happening to coincide with mine and Skinny’s first year there. It’s 1973 - and Roselle is finally and forever changed.
Even though we’re Sicilian (Skinny and me) and come from Brooklyn, and at least have some frame of reference for this - as opposed to all these Opies surrounding us - we’re still just puny little kids. Compared to these guys, anyway. I mean, most of them, they’re like grown men already. It’s like black Vikings invading the school. It was swift and it was total, and just like that, our innocence, or whatever the hell it was - is gone. Snap.
We didn’t really understand it, but it felt like living under the Kremlin, or something. There was no point in trying to escape or resist, we just have to take our lumps...especially me, since for some reason, I am put into the class for the criminally insane. So, we’re pretty much just quivering pats of butter. That’s where Weatherbee H. Peabody comes in. Weatherbee is this fictitious character derived from our imaginations. He is this kid from England who is driven to school every day by his chauffeur in a limousine - he wears black framed glasses, and a tuxedo to school every day - and does snuff. And refuses to take gym class. I mean, subconsciously we know this is beyond absurd - but it had to be done!
So we start spreading this around - it’s almost, like, subliminal messages, or something. There’s a lot of nice black kids among the assassins also - and one this kid, Keith Bailey, is one of our confidants.
“Oh yeah, I seen that mof***a in gym class - he be wearin’ black socks and shoes, an’ shit with his gym shorts - mof***a be crazy an’ shit!’
Pretty soon, it’s like wildfire around the school (particularly among the black kids, who find this thoroughly intriguing) and everybody is claiming they’ve seen him.
“Man, I seen that mof***a doin’ snuff an’ shit while he be waiting for his chauffeur, then the mof***a gets in this limo!” Another kid declares.
It becomes such a must see attraction that finally, a group of the black kids threateningly confront Bobby Gibb, a friend of ours, claiming they’ve never seen him.
“Oh, they put him in remedial reading!” He blurts out quickly, saving his ass, and for reasons unknown that seems to satisfy the angry mob.
At last, Skinny and me are laughing again.


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More Blogs by Joseph W. Montaperto
• SHE LOVES IT!! - Tuesday, July 25, 2023
• A FANTASY? - Friday, June 16, 2023
• OPERATION RESCUE ESPERANZA! - Friday, June 16, 2023
• SADNESS - Friday, June 16, 2023
• THE SCORE - THE SCARE - Thursday, March 2, 2023
• HALLOWEEN - Monday, January 30, 2023
• BACK TO WORK - Sunday, January 8, 2023
• THE SHOWDOWN - Sunday, December 11, 2022
• THE CHEETAH - Sunday, December 11, 2022
• THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION - Sunday, October 2, 2022
• THE CONSEQUENCES - Thursday, September 8, 2022
• A FINISHED PRODUCT - Sunday, August 7, 2022
• THE ETTA JAMES VIBE - Monday, June 20, 2022
• THE TRIBUTE - Tuesday, May 31, 2022
• IT'S GOING DOWN! - Monday, May 16, 2022
• THE MORNING AFTER - Monday, April 18, 2022
• THE SAVOY - Sunday, March 27, 2022
• THE BIG NIGHT - Tuesday, March 1, 2022
• THE SPEECH - Monday, February 7, 2022
• THE SCHEME - Friday, January 14, 2022
• HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED! - Thursday, January 6, 2022
• THE PUNISHMENT - Wednesday, December 8, 2021
• THE CHASE - PART 2 - Friday, November 26, 2021
• THE CHASE - Monday, November 8, 2021
• OBSTACLES TO LOVE!! - Friday, October 15, 2021
• THE CALL - Sunday, October 3, 2021
• A SUDDEN PAIN - Tuesday, September 7, 2021
• A DREAM - Tuesday, August 24, 2021
• A BRAVE NEW WORLD - Sunday, August 8, 2021
• THE MAN - Sunday, July 18, 2021
• THREE GUYS - Monday, June 21, 2021
• THE NA-NA SURPRISE! - Sunday, June 6, 2021
• THE END OF AN ERA - Thursday, May 20, 2021
• THE CELEBRATION! - Friday, May 7, 2021
• THE INTERVIEW - Wednesday, April 21, 2021
• THE FAMILY - Thursday, April 8, 2021
• THE FOX HOLE!! - Sunday, March 28, 2021
• JACK THE BARBER IS A DICK!! - Saturday, March 6, 2021
• THE CONFLICT OF JACK'S BARBER SHOP - Saturday, February 13, 2021
• I MUST SAVE ESPERANZA!! - Thursday, January 28, 2021
• WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! - Wednesday, January 13, 2021
• WHAT HAPPENED?! PART 2 - Wednesday, December 30, 2020
• WHAT HAPPENED?! - Monday, December 14, 2020
• CUMBERLAND FARMS EDUCATION - Saturday, November 21, 2020
• THANK GOD FOR MY MUSTACHE! - Saturday, October 31, 2020
• NA-NA JOHNSON - Saturday, October 17, 2020
• THE SCARE - Tuesday, October 6, 2020
• THE BIG FIGHT - Monday, September 21, 2020
• THE PICNIC PANTS EPISODE - Wednesday, September 9, 2020
• THE KISS - Saturday, August 22, 2020
• THE MOD SHAG AFRO - Tuesday, August 4, 2020
• THE MAGICAL MEETING - Monday, July 20, 2020
• THE ERADICATION OF ENORMO - THE HUMAN BUTT - Saturday, June 27, 2020
• ESPERANZA - Tuesday, June 16, 2020
•  THE TRIALS OF WEATHERBEE H.PEABODY - Saturday, May 30, 2020  

• THE PILGRIM GIRL - Wednesday, May 13, 2020
• THE CALLING - Monday, April 20, 2020
• MORE THRILLS FROM THE 70s! - Tuesday, March 31, 2020
• THE 70s AND NOW - CONTINUED - Wednesday, March 11, 2020
• EXHIBIT B - THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE 70's AND NOW - Wednesday, February 19, 2020
• THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE 70's AND TODAY - Tuesday, January 28, 2020
• PROJECTILE CHILI - Friday, January 17, 2020
• RESTAURANT MANAGERS WHO HAVE TORMENTED ME - Friday, January 17, 2020
• THE LEGEND OF DAVID ROSS - Monday, January 13, 2020
• THE LEGEND OF DUNCAN VALIANT - Monday, January 13, 2020
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• A HORRIFIC CATERING EVENT - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• WHERE ARE MY BUTTER PEOPLE? - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• LISTS - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• A MOST UNFORTUNATE PAIRING - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• LA VENDETTA 2 - A HEARTWARMING CHRISTMAS TALE - Wednesday, December 25, 2019
• LA VENDETTA - Saturday, November 23, 2019
• Nobody Gets Out Of Catering Alive - Friday, November 22, 2019
• Christmas Holiday at our house - Wednesday, December 10, 2014
• The Edge of Whiteness - Friday, November 14, 2014
• The Edge of Whiteness - Friday, October 31, 2014