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Joseph W. Montaperto

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Member Since: Mar, 2013

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Blogs by Joseph W. Montaperto

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!
1/13/2021 7:41:04 PM


Joey goes up to visit Esperanza at the Tijeras de Oro with a gift on a Saturday morning, but is heavily dismayed by her deadened expression, and the huge number of ladies waiting to get their hair done while chattering away in rapid-fire Spanish!

So, in our last blog, Joey goes up to the Tijeras de Oro on a Saturday morning with a gift for Esperanza, but is dismayed by both her faded, lackluster expression - and the enormous number of ladies there to get there hair done! I pass the time away sitting in the salon and listening to the fast paced chatter of the Puerto Rican beautician ladies and their customers.

What incredible drama! I become so fascinated and absorbed by the whole scene that I barely notice the hours ticking away. I feel like I am being exposed to some kind of secret society. An exotic ritual, that no man has ever been privileged to see before.

So, this is what Puerto Rican ladies do when they get together! Maybe all women do the same thing!

Finally, miraculously (after about six hours have passed by), Esperanza is down to her last customer. This is going to be my shot, my chance to have an audience with her, even if only for a minute! I steady myself, preparing for a unique and sophisticated opening line that will catch her attention. I hope. Maybe, I could feel her out to see if there was any possibility she would, perhaps - go out with me? Where could I take her? I don’t have any money! I can’t just take her to like, Jack N’ The Box for a taco, or something! She’s an older woman, a woman of the world, who’s used to the finer things in life! Ok, ok. Calm down, you jerk, just breath. At that precise moment, the phone rings, snapping me out of my panic attack. Whew. One of the other ladies answers it.

“Mira, Esperanza - telefono!”

She’s only on the phone a few seconds when that look comes back again. That dreaded look. Like she’s battling between falling asleep and crying.

“Si...si.” she keeps repeating, quietly.

She turns her back to everyone, and listens to the voice on the other end, then silently places the receiver down, dragging herself into the back room. A minute later, she emerges with her pocketbook, totally withdrawn and quietly whispers something to Lydia, the hairstylist next to her chair. She then walks right passed me, not even casting a glance. I don’t know what to do or say.

“What -Esperanza…what’s-what's the matter?”

No reaction.

“I can’t talk now,” she finally responds, emotionlessly, as she sleep-walks out the door.

I just sit there for like about five minutes, embarrassed and perplexed. I have just spent my whole Saturday here. Lydia comes over, puts her hand on my shoulder, and gives me a sympathetic smile.

“You come back. Try next week, baby, ok?” she says, in heavily accented English.

I plop out the door despondently, moping all the way to the bus stop. What a hollow, helpless feeling. What could I do? I mean, how am I supposed to react to this kind of situation? Conflict storms through my brain waves, my gut. Who am I trying to fool? I’m in way over my head. I’m just some goofy kid. She’s so beautiful, she probably has, like, a hundred boyfriends. She can have anybody she wants. Any guy. I don’t even speak her language.

Yet, a part of me feels an excruciating sadness, a pained empathy for her. That look. That look on her face when I first came in today, then again after the phone call, it just skewers my heart. What was that phone call about? Is she in trouble? What the hell is going on?!


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More Blogs by Joseph W. Montaperto
• SHE LOVES IT!! - Tuesday, July 25, 2023
• A FANTASY? - Friday, June 16, 2023
• OPERATION RESCUE ESPERANZA! - Friday, June 16, 2023
• SADNESS - Friday, June 16, 2023
• THE SCORE - THE SCARE - Thursday, March 2, 2023
• HALLOWEEN - Monday, January 30, 2023
• BACK TO WORK - Sunday, January 8, 2023
• THE SHOWDOWN - Sunday, December 11, 2022
• THE CHEETAH - Sunday, December 11, 2022
• THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION - Sunday, October 2, 2022
• THE CONSEQUENCES - Thursday, September 8, 2022
• A FINISHED PRODUCT - Sunday, August 7, 2022
• THE ETTA JAMES VIBE - Monday, June 20, 2022
• THE TRIBUTE - Tuesday, May 31, 2022
• IT'S GOING DOWN! - Monday, May 16, 2022
• THE MORNING AFTER - Monday, April 18, 2022
• THE SAVOY - Sunday, March 27, 2022
• THE BIG NIGHT - Tuesday, March 1, 2022
• THE SPEECH - Monday, February 7, 2022
• THE SCHEME - Friday, January 14, 2022
• HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED! - Thursday, January 6, 2022
• THE PUNISHMENT - Wednesday, December 8, 2021
• THE CHASE - PART 2 - Friday, November 26, 2021
• THE CHASE - Monday, November 8, 2021
• OBSTACLES TO LOVE!! - Friday, October 15, 2021
• THE CALL - Sunday, October 3, 2021
• A SUDDEN PAIN - Tuesday, September 7, 2021
• A DREAM - Tuesday, August 24, 2021
• A BRAVE NEW WORLD - Sunday, August 8, 2021
• THE MAN - Sunday, July 18, 2021
• THREE GUYS - Monday, June 21, 2021
• THE NA-NA SURPRISE! - Sunday, June 6, 2021
• THE END OF AN ERA - Thursday, May 20, 2021
• THE CELEBRATION! - Friday, May 7, 2021
• THE INTERVIEW - Wednesday, April 21, 2021
• THE FAMILY - Thursday, April 8, 2021
• THE FOX HOLE!! - Sunday, March 28, 2021
• JACK THE BARBER IS A DICK!! - Saturday, March 6, 2021
• THE CONFLICT OF JACK'S BARBER SHOP - Saturday, February 13, 2021
• I MUST SAVE ESPERANZA!! - Thursday, January 28, 2021
•  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! - Wednesday, January 13, 2021  

• WHAT HAPPENED?! PART 2 - Wednesday, December 30, 2020
• WHAT HAPPENED?! - Monday, December 14, 2020
• CUMBERLAND FARMS EDUCATION - Saturday, November 21, 2020
• THANK GOD FOR MY MUSTACHE! - Saturday, October 31, 2020
• NA-NA JOHNSON - Saturday, October 17, 2020
• THE SCARE - Tuesday, October 6, 2020
• THE BIG FIGHT - Monday, September 21, 2020
• THE PICNIC PANTS EPISODE - Wednesday, September 9, 2020
• THE KISS - Saturday, August 22, 2020
• THE MOD SHAG AFRO - Tuesday, August 4, 2020
• THE MAGICAL MEETING - Monday, July 20, 2020
• THE ERADICATION OF ENORMO - THE HUMAN BUTT - Saturday, June 27, 2020
• ESPERANZA - Tuesday, June 16, 2020
• THE TRIALS OF WEATHERBEE H.PEABODY - Saturday, May 30, 2020
• THE PILGRIM GIRL - Wednesday, May 13, 2020
• THE CALLING - Monday, April 20, 2020
• MORE THRILLS FROM THE 70s! - Tuesday, March 31, 2020
• THE 70s AND NOW - CONTINUED - Wednesday, March 11, 2020
• EXHIBIT B - THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE 70's AND NOW - Wednesday, February 19, 2020
• THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE 70's AND TODAY - Tuesday, January 28, 2020
• PROJECTILE CHILI - Friday, January 17, 2020
• RESTAURANT MANAGERS WHO HAVE TORMENTED ME - Friday, January 17, 2020
• THE LEGEND OF DAVID ROSS - Monday, January 13, 2020
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• IT HAPPENS EVERY CATERING SEASON - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
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• WHERE ARE MY BUTTER PEOPLE? - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• LISTS - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• A MOST UNFORTUNATE PAIRING - Tuesday, January 7, 2020
• LA VENDETTA 2 - A HEARTWARMING CHRISTMAS TALE - Wednesday, December 25, 2019
• LA VENDETTA - Saturday, November 23, 2019
• Nobody Gets Out Of Catering Alive - Friday, November 22, 2019
• Christmas Holiday at our house - Wednesday, December 10, 2014
• The Edge of Whiteness - Friday, November 14, 2014
• The Edge of Whiteness - Friday, October 31, 2014