esa didnt look to good today. we woke up this morning to her eyelids looking like 2 golf balls were inside them. she couldnt even try to open her eyes. she moves her hands around, and reaches for things, but we dont know how much she can see. i asked the doctor why her good eye was turning up and in, and he said because the eye ball is swelling and the muscles around are swelling so there is no control, and it makes sense that it goes up and in. i think she did ok today. she wasnt to angry. but she did just want to be very close to us. she would grap us all the time. like really hard pinches, on our arms or necks. we both are feeling pretty angry today, and hating how our baby looks. she doesnt look human. i dont think i will put a picture up of how she looks. it just doesnt seem right.
maybe when she has healed from this. we met a family today who just found out that their 13 month old little girl has a very rare type of leukemia. i hate this, i hate this so much that babies suffer. it doesnt make any sense. it makes no sense for little babies to suffer. we are evil and bad if we cause a baby to suffer, but if God does then he is good. i dont understand that, and i dont think i want to right now.