Dear Reader,
This month's newsletter is the most informative, hilarious, and thrilling ever.....
FEEL FREE to read the plain text version here of the newsletter, or get the full effect by following the link below to the illustrated version where you can view, print, or simply enjoy.

http://www.AuthorsDen.com/adstorage/114487/Newsletter_August_31_2011.pdf

- Jay


The Jay’s Daily Laugh
"I Really Wanted Something to Give All My Readers" Date Aug—31 Issue # 1
________________________________________
If you know Jay M Horne personally, then you know that he is always trying to GIVE something away to somebody. Ironically, (and sarcastically) Giving everything away is the first warning signs of a suicidal person! LOL! Which is totally fitting, because it has been a habit of mine since I emerged from that eternal cell of slumber, we call the womb. It is the reason that we are born to begin with though, to die that is; The fun part about the whole thing is spending your whole life trying to justify the end. Whether or not you know it right now, it is an epithet you’ve been writing since life began all those years back, which is why people relate so well to books; Because life always seems to occur in chapters and pages. With every downfall or surprise a new page is turned, another letter put to writ and time moves forward.
I am sure you all know the feeling that I am talking about. The times when you say to yourself, “Well, it’s time to start a new chapter.” Then you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and head right on back down that holy road to oblivion that only seems to get better in its own weird kind of way. That’s the funny thing about God, he grows on you. But growth takes learning lessons, and the lessons are getting easier as we go, and once you finally turn that page and greet your destiny with a smile, you may find, like I did, a simple affirmation is all you need to remember that it’s always darkest just before the dawn. My little affirmation isn’t much, it’s just a verse I picked up one day as I shared a conversation with a very special person that we all know better than we think, and it goes like this:
“I will be pleasantly surprised.”
To most these may just be five small words, but when God gives you advice, you would be a fool not to take it. So I gave him a chance to explain, and this is what he told me:
Jay, you think that KNOWING that everything is going to turn out exactly as you planned would be the greatest power on Earth and in Heaven, but it’s not.
God says, “If you already KNEW what was going to happen tomorrow, why would you do it?! What’s the fun in that?! Now I could tell you right now that I am a perfectly loving and GOOD GOD that will make sure you’re always happy and funny and wealthy, but if I did that, you’d never get a chance to worry! When you’re rich my son, things lose their value.”
And that was just my first book, which totally made everyone feel sorry for me or something, but since then, I have taken his advice and I must say, that when I look back at my past achievements and all of you people that have helped me along the way I can be nothing but grateful. So with that said, I am continuing my tradition of giving with this monthly newsletter which I hope you find informative and enjoyable!
Please forward it to your friends you feel would be interested.
Until next month...
Thank You All and God Bless,
Jay M Horne

P.S. I Know it’s called the jay’s DAILY laugh and it’s a monthly newsletter! LOL

In This Issue:
• United States Opts out of Space Program: [Science Breaks the Speed of Light with New Thinking]
• Deadless: What happens when we all suddenly stop dying
• Joke of the Month
• Miles and Hornes: [Accepting Submissions to the Family Tome Legacy Book]
• The Monthly Mind Twister
• Contact the Editor

1. United States Opts out of Space Program: [Science Breaks the Speed of Light with New Thinking]
A corkscrew shaped spacecraft with alternate thrusters could drill through space after the spiral propulsion has made the surrounding matter dense near the speed of light.

The first thing you need to break the speed of light is a perfectly shaped craft.
Is there something in the spinning of ufo discs that we could learn from? Perhaps their shape is a microspiral. To traverse lightspeed you must be able to make your way through the denseness of space time when you get near the speed of light. This is where the spiral shape of the ship comes into play. Thrusters that would continue spinning the ship laterally could be used to help the ship drill into the fabric of the dense spacetime fabric via the ships drillbit like shape. Space has particles that are vey sparsely spread out, but it is STILL THERE. A spiral design will reduce drag in space and allow for further acceleration. Is there drag in space? I believe there is. Perhaps it has not been measured, but just as darkness and light have no distinct edges, neither does anything based on theory.
Calibrate spiral thrusters on a spiral ship with lateral thrusters at the right moment and see if you can break light speed.
THE THEORY
We all are subtly informed on the attributes of space. It is a vacuum, well almost. With NASA's space program just now falling off like a dead cask of a katydid, I guess it will have to be Russia to implement the first engine and shuttle that will break the light barrier and provide us with interplanetary travel. The theory of propeller acceleration is nothing new. Airplane propellers corkscrew the medium of the wind and air in our atmosphere pulling the wind in and pushing it over and under the wings to provide lift. A boat motor, for instance, cuts through the medium we know as water in a corkscrew type of fashion, intrinsically moving the boat forward as a drill bit bores it's way into brittle wood.
The theory of space being a vacuum is based in scientifically evident principals, such as, light can travel in a vacuum, sound cannot, this is why space is assumed to be a vacuum, devoid of any mass.
Others argue that, if we all derived from a singularity, one - point, a single substance, then in - fact even the space between us and our moon, would indeed share similar qualities as our own bodies, and in - turn posses a minute fraction of 'something'.
This is but a whisper in the community of quantum physicists though. But let us assume for a moment that the least about of matter was present in the vacuum of space. Wouldn't a corkscrew design and shape of a shuttle provide a possible way to 'pull' ourselves through the galaxy like a boat through water?
Let's look at another example, when a door opens inside a home, often times it pulls shut another door left slightly ajar because of the shift in the vacuum itself.
The slightest collision in space will cause an equal and opposite reaction, based on Newton's laws, upon one another. This is why jet propulsion is so inefficient. You push one - way and the same push is exerted in the opposite direction. Building even upon this simple fact, any other minute forces that can be used in transportation through a vacuum are terribly valuable to the user, because of the absence of resistance in a vacuum. A tiny force, can be multiplied over and over, only further speeding an object to its terminal velocity, which in a vacuum has still not ever been achieved as far as I know. Much like flicking a top that is already spinning to keep it going or make it faster.
SO let us assume, now that the space program has been dropped (IRONICALLY) that we create a propulsion engine that ignites Hydrogen and oxygen in a spiral motion as it is expelled. Let us also assume that the craft itself is constructed in a corkscrew fashion to take advantage of the pulling principal through matter as it nears the speed of light and gains density. For if the vacuum of space contains the minutest amount of matter, then that matter around it will grow denser as our craft grows faster do to Einstiens Relativity. But because our craft is equipped with alternate thrusters to keep the craft spinning in it's original direction, it will snag into the new denseness and drill itself into the higher speed beyond light as the hydrogen propulsion cuts out and the drilling/pulling motion begins. This could make it possible to utilize both form and force to our advantage, and send a craft nominally further than ever before.


2. Deadles: What happens when we all suddenly stop dying

It had been approximately 2 minutes since the last death occurred. Colonel Sears sat engulfed before the illuminated translucent panel that dwarfed the rest of the gadgetry in 41b of the U.S. Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia. His dark, furrowed brow told Edward that what they were seeing was just now being confirmed as more than just a computer glitch.
It is the year 2014 and the death and birth ratio clock in the pentagon has made a surprising turn for the better? Or worse?
People all across the globe suddenly stop dying and the first to become aware of this astonishing finding is young Jake, who thinks he possess a unique power.
“The first time I killed myself was a complete accident.” He says, “The next five times were on purpose.”

Deadless is Jay M Horne’s new novel, to be released in late 2012. Following the hit of his bestseller Hubudi, which recounted the modern application of Adam and Eve, the raising of the tower of Babel, and reunion of Pangea; Deadless is also a fresh new concept, which keeps the reader gripping stuck to the page and psychologically thrilled.

Be sure to check out, the blogs, and samples at our home page.

2. Joke of the Month
A Quickie
Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?
To find a tight seal.

Joke of the Month
One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly
drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was
followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then
about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man
following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.
"My wife," the man replied.
"I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?"
"My dog bit her and she died."
Dave then asked who was in the second hearse.
The man replied, "My mother - in - law. My dog bit her and she died as well."
"Can I borrow your dog?"
"Get in line." replied the man.


3. Miles and Hornes: [Accpeting Submissions to the Family Tome Legacy Book]
ATTENTION MILES AND HORNES FAMILY
Currently, the family is in the process of producing a family tome. Our goal is to have the entire book finished before the 2013 Holt Huddle so that copies are available for everyone at the Family Reunion.
If you sprung from the Holt, Horne, Miles, or Hill family, please submit any articles you would like included in the massive manuscript. Also, we urge you to submit any prominent articles on family members who have Highly Regarded and Mentionable Achievements, and have passed.
We are currently searching very far back in the family tree, and if you would like to help in this journey please email at the address below and we will invite you to visit ANCESTRY.com and contribute to our cause by filling in pertinent information about your branch of heritage absolutely FREE!
All submissions will be accepted, no matter how small. Have a son or daughter graduating? A poem you are particularly proud of? Did you adopt a child? Great, everyone is welcome, we are all family. Have an achievement that you are proud of and would like to voice to our family world? Let us publish it in our Family Tome.
THE GOAL:
The goal of the family Tome is to have published a universal book that can be added to and republished every few years to include future generations, passed down family to children. We plan on publishing the TOME Privately, but making it accessible for on - line, hardback, and paperback purchase, to Family.
Like to help?
Would you like to help with editing, compilation, family tree contribution, or perhaps make a monetary donation to this massive project? We greatly appreciate any help with this expensive and massive joint project All donors will get an honorable mention in the bibliography.
Contact Jay M Horne by email at Jay@Jaymhorne.com
Please send photos, stories, articles, or requested additions to the book to:
HorneLegacy@Gmail.com
Monetary Donations accepted here:
https://www.paypal.com/cgi - bin/webscr?cmd=_s - xclick&hosted_button_id=3T23APFPFHEUE
A VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO ALEX RICH AND RICHARD HOLT FOR THE FANTASTIC CONTRIBUTION TO THIS EXCITING PROJECT! VISIT THEIR WEBSITE AT
http://www.HoltHuddle.com


4. The Monthly Mind Twister
Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can! Don't advance until you've done each of them. Now, ARROW down, but not too fast, you might miss something.........




What is:

1+5

2+4

3+3

4+2

5+1













Now repeat saying the number 6 to yourself as fast as you can for 10 seconds. Then scroll down.


























QUICK!!! THINK OF A VEGETABLE! Then arrow down.


























You're thinking of a carrot.













If not....
you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are warped enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer 'carrot' when given this exercise.
Jay M Horne 5. Contact the Author
Copyright © [2011] by [Jay M Horne] - All Rights Reserved.
Editor: [Jay], [International Mobile Publishing]
[jay@jaymhorne.com]
[3064 Walnut Lane Marianna, FL 32446]
[7253989044]
Visit us online at:
http://www.authorsden.com/jaymhorne