I promised I would never tell
That is a promise I did keep
Even now as I proceed to this state of deep sleep
No one will ever think you were more than a friend
For I had several seeking a confident
Many hours of conversation, sometimes seeking advice
Mostly just a knowing ear, a little jab
Some time, with the girl, who had the gift of gab

But not really, for most it would be quiet moments
Time sat talking, time with a soda or coffee
Time expressing life’s tears or their personal fears
But many just needing to steal a moment with someone who knew
How reclusive they were or who could just be near but not needy

It was never about being there, really
At first, maybe, to establish ourselves as true friends, indeed
At one point, friends in need
But later, always knowing the connection was set
So we knew we could just let………….the other be
Who they were, are, would be
Was not the question
Again it was just to go through life feeling you had close contact
Providing a moment of comfort, warmth, stability
As you felt you gave to so many but not required here

Something deep in your heart, you knew, set her apart
From your everyday life, both from the strife and responsibility
She asked little of you, in fact nothing at all
You acted as every man does, happy and proud that this was the case
After all you certainly didn’t want another who needed your ear
This, you said to yourself, was probably made clear

but as you think back
beginning to remember the years of companionship, in short spurts
suddenly aware that she never acted as if she cared
your mind begins to race remembering her pace
remembering nothing was asked, required or demanded of you
in fact, often the case was you had to go looking for her
so many aspects of her, demur….not clear at all

Now wondering
Did I mean anything at all
Was I just a simple voice, among others, on a cold night to call
Was she even listening, did she hear, was her heart,
dare I ask, ever near

Then you remember, ah yes, those precious moments
Her guard did fall
Seeing in her eyes, actions, words, a glimpse of the heart
Deep within the box, usually, held tight
But once in awhile, on just the right night
The emotion did flow like a glorious light
She might give a playful push, a cute nibble
Occasionally some love like words did dribble
But mostly just steady, fun and playful
Just what you needed through the stress and strain
Of your life which provides you off and on pain

Now telling yourself, I could have been there more
Because while you were ensuring you didn’t get too close
Making sure you were always the proper host
You realize this departure leaves you a debtor
There was so much time to call, email, send a letter

But really, my darling, all was as it should be
Which was always clear to me
A tear might have once fallen, just a drop
In a time I felt alone but mostly, I knew when to stop

For the sips we took
From our coffee cups
Over days, weeks, months and years
Took away the tear
Knowing I had really taken a piece of your heart
Almost from the very start