I should have told you
then, before the twilight enshrouded
the sun in the night,
how the sound of your name,
sends my pulse into flight,
and yes,
I should have told you
then, whispered in the ear that hears
before the morning dew
awakened your fears
how your absence defiles
the space
we call home, how loneliness
and sorrow sing the
nighttime song, and each day I
am sorry, each day
I regret
I should have told you
then, while we lay on the bed
when our moments were fleeting,
I should have told you,
instead
we played the parts of the king and the fool,
you commanding obedience to prove my devotion,
me, plunging ever deeper into the ocean,
not of love, but resentment,
I lingered each day
for the love I showed you was repeatedly
turned away. But I did not know until
love came back in vain, when I touched you
the substance was nothing
more than rain
on a windshield that is
soon wiped away, for the baggage
we carried was scuffed, torn and ruined,
and instead of abandoning it
we carried it on
like it mattered more than
anything else we could amass,
why didn’t we throw it into
the great morass of things
now past,
why let it live on, to control and contort
to muddy our feelings, to continue to distort
the fragile cord of closeness we both should have known,
why couldn’t either of us soften
our heart of stone?
I should tell you
now, or is it too late,
you were always enough
your presence filled my plate
with comfort
though you never could see,
it was you who needed more,
you needed more than just me, so tonight
I look skyward and with
one final breath,
I tell you I love
you, I tell you the truth,
the love of my sunset
is still the love from my
youth.
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Be always safe,
Karen