JOHN LENNON LYRIFICATION PROJECT: "No Flies on Frank", adapted by Joel Sattler


NO FLIES ON FRANK

[from "No Flies on Frank " adapted by Joel Sattler
from a chapter in IN HIS OWN WRITE by John Lennon]



NO FLIES ON FRANK

No flies on Frank today
No flies on Frank
No flies on Frank today
No flies on Frank

He was a responsible citizen
With a wife and child
And with a defiant agility
Lept upon the bathroom scales

But to his great Harold he discovered he
was 12 inch heavy
He just couldn't believe it
And the blood raised to his head

"I caren't not believe this
Incredible fact of truth
About my very body."
[His wife had just turned 32th]

"Since I was begat at child burn
Though I wart through the valet of shadowy hut
I will feed no Norman.
What grate fatty hard buckle thus!"

He looked down at the vision
His eyes clouded with a fearful weight
"12 inches lo more heavy!
But not more than my brother Geoffrey!"

He went downstairs crestfallen
A great weight upon his boulders like lead
Not even his wife's battered face
Could raise a smile on poor Frank's head

His wife, a former beauty queer
Gave a strange but burly look
"What ails thee Frank? You look dejected
If not informal." She stretched her prune

"Tis nothing but a wart I've gained
12 inches tall more heavy than
The very clock of yesterday
I am the most miserable of men.

"Suffer ye not to spake to me
Or I a mortal injury might thrust.
To traddle this trial alone," said he,
"I must."

"Am I to blame for this vast burton?
Lo Frank! Thou's smote me most harshly
With this grave talk!" Frank looked sadly
Forgetting the cause of his misery.

Walking slowly but slowly toward her,
he took his head in his hands and with
a few swift blows gad did he club her
Dead to the ground most mercifully


"She shouldn't see me like this,' he mubbled,
He het his own breakfast that morning and so
on the following mornings, and three weeks later
Awoke to find no flies on him no.

"No flies on this Frank boy," he thought,
But amazed to find a lot on still on his wife
Who was still lying there on the kitchen floor.
He couldn't cut his bread with his knife.

"I cannot partake with her lying about,
I must deliver her home whore take her back
Where she will be made welcome at last"
So he gathered her up put her in a small sack.

Frank knocked on the door of his wife's mother's house
And then when she opened the door
Said "I've brought Marian home, Mrs. Sutherskill."
(he never could call her Mum)

He opened the sack and put her on the step
"I won't have those flies in my home!"
Shouted Mrs. Sutherkill as she slammed the door shut
Leaving Frank with the bag all alone

So there Frank stood with the problem unsolved
And standing there Frankieboy thought
"She at least could have offered me a cup of tea."
As he lifted the problem back up.

!