Last night I counted your breaths while you slept.
Towards morning, I lost count, but
you awoke a few minutes later,
so I rounded the number off
and privately recorded your many thousands of
sleeping breaths, in the journal of love
I am making for you.
This entry: the night I counted your breaths
while you slept.
I wanted to do this.
I wanted to have a secret way of loving you,
so that all the known ways I love you
can have a private underside,
a place where love is always new and mysterious.
I know that you count my breaths while I am awake.
Somewhere, inside the often-painful activity
of your mind,
you find a peaceful grotto, and there
you count my breaths, without even knowing
you are doing it.
Your love is so constant, it is a place where my fears vanish,
have never existed.
I must practice harder than you, to love.
I must keep awake and make vigil,
so that while you dream,
I am doing something important,
being the clock of your breath,
helping you sleep.
I can do nothing more loving for you
than to help you sleep.
You always wanted someone to watch over you.
You felt abandoned and alone.
With this secret, I heal you.
I count the long slow breaths, I catch at the sudden twitches,
I invent words to accompany
your dream-mumbled incoherences.
I might show you this poem, if it will make you happy.
I wanted it to be a secret. But tomorrow night,
or the next,
I will do it again, or I will do something else,
find another way to love you,
something only I could think of doing,
and only you could understand
why I have done it.
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Your emotions are so very beautiful:
“You always wanted someone to watch over you.
You felt abandoned and alone.
With this secret, I heal you.”
I am utterly mesmerized by this poetic expression & the deep emotion of love’s presence
This unique embrace you offer is beautiful
Peace & Inspirations
Vickie