Prayed on my knees.. Waited for you to answer my pleas.. But you didn't.. I know I KNOW!! Some answers are not heard.. Have to wait. And even when you answer.... Might be too late. I know have faith.. I had faith when my family was taken from me.. Faith when I was beaten.. Faith when I was alone.. Faith when I was on the floor.. Beating my fists praying to you.. Just for the strength to see me through.. Faith when I was Blown off.. Thrown down.. Eaten alive Inside and out.. And I waited.. And I sang your song.. Jesus loved the little children All the children of the world.. But he didn't see me.. Bloody wrists I hold up to the skies.. Asking my God Why? Suffer the children.. Filled with sin Suffer the children.. No chance to win. I hold my life up to you.. And pray Father won't you forgive me please.. I don't know what I am doing.. Now I give myself back to you.. Back to you I am going.
In God We Trust Erica...
Read my poem " Conversation with a Golden Angel "..a collaboration with Amelia Amy Peterson on child abuse for parallels and comparisons
please...
Conversation with a Golden Angel
by Peter Paton
Monday, July 26, 2004
Conversation with a Golden Angel
Conversation with a Golden Angel.....GA Golden Angel
A lesson in Child Abuse based on a true story . Collaboration by Peter Paton and Amelia Amy Peterson
Copyright Peter Paton 2004
I wondered why..... my parents brought me and my older sister to this strange place , so far from home ,... home sweet home.... , and oh so different , and oh so strange , to the Paradise I'd known ...... ..This Ugly House of Stone .
GA ( Children see in the now, I view the questioning, as...where are we? )
At three years old , my world revolved around the warm and reassuring glow of Mum and Dad , those loving faces and all embracing arms , that made me feel so safe and warm , and wanted !.
GA ( The child knows only immediate need of familiar security. )
But why bring us to this unfamiliar and imposing place Mum ?, and who are these other little children Dad , playing in this House of Darkness , and where are their Guardian Angels ?
GA ( Fear sets in, the house of darkness is frightening, a child is unable to comprehend the adult level of reason. )
Then I recall , through the searing pain and tears of bittersweet memory , the agonizing sight filtering through a big bay window , of Mum and Dad slipping quietly and softly away , pausing briefly to wave adieu , as my tender heart burst asunder , at this brutal disengagement of love and security .
Why ? Oh Why ? , and I have never understood.. Why were we abandoned in our distress?
GA ( Seeing family comfort walk away, uncomprehending, sensing...is this punishment?, have I been bad? Questioning the self because these frightening feelings are all around. What was safe and secure of mom and dad no longer exists.. Everything is unfamiliar, uncomfortable, insecurity sets in. )
The searing recall of burning anguish and endless tears follow my footsteps to this day, a tainted
and twisted tapestry deep within my subconscious , haunting the atoms and molecules of my being , and granting me no rest or consolation .
GA ( Rescuing the self requires forgiveness to everything involved…parents, place, self, others. Reassurance... you are not to blame. )
Why did God cast us in this Abyss titled Children's Home , and who tore the umbilical Cord of Love
from my grasp , and cast this Child Adrift .
GA ( God, gets blamed for everything, because it is everything. Leading one to a higher self
and learning to overcome the challenges placed upon it. )
Who formed the embodiment of Evil titled Matron ,and what bewitching brew did she consume ?
GA (The evil dark angel, I label her such, because she fulfills her torturing role, to set up the opportunity for you to rise to your higher self, though it may take years.. to find a way to forgive her.)
Oh King of Terror , Morning Star..who fell from Grace .. Thou Art Responsible !!, for who else would separate Love and its Consequence .
GA ( Blame, this time labeled King of Terror, the devil, the dark lord – the child thinks a good god could never let a child suffer in such a way, it must be Satan himself unleashed. )
When will this torturous mirror be shattered ? and release be poured in golden libation !!
GA (When the child is consciously able to release and forgive, his torture shall be dissolved)
This child remembers , remembers the dormitory of Hell , and its Legions of Little Angels
within this House of Dread .
GA ( Memories can bring much pain, re-living them, the mind following no rule of physical space, travels back to the space of this child’s agony still very much alive and suffering. )
Why did eyes so young and tender , have to witness such brute distemper , and how did no one
hear or answer our wounded cries , amidst this labyrinth of Sin .
GA ( Cries were heard beyond this world, the higher self ready, to heal the child, when the child is ready to receive it. )
My God , My God why didst thou forsake me in these days of old , and why must little children suffer to come unto thee ?
GA ( Yes, blaming God is a normal reaction. Children and adult alike expect and insist on instant miracles to fix suffering, they do not understand the miracle they are presented)
But out of the Dark , a Light did Shine , and Deliverance burst asunder the Chains of Hell
GA ( Faith, and hope, a self’s need for wholeness. Ready to release past pain and heal. A soul's growth leaps to embrace a higher consciousness)
GA: These precious children I watched in sadness, for their suffering was deep. Seeing through their child’s eyes, this dark, unknown, and frightening place, overshadowed by the matron appearing like evil, a dark angel, making their lives feel like hell. Where love had long since disappeared.
They are unaware of my presence, as I watch over them. In their hearts I feel such innocent splendor and see them lost in these dark walls. I hug them often, I whisper of hope, and send them dreams, encouraging them to find the faith within. God has not forsaken them. Love has not forsaken them. It is there, has always been there, waiting to be discovered.
I watch the matron deemed as evil, lost herself, she had never forgiven her own dark past. She drowns herself with alcohol, trying to drown her pain. Underpaid, unloved herself, resentful of her position to care for children, she despises them as filthy creatures. " She is evil personified, everything frightening to a child. She does her job without consciousness. Her fright injects into these future minds. Within she is eternally damned for her Satanic assaults on these little flowers of Christ...These Heavenly Cherubs and Water Babies of the Mother of God..She plays her role with demonic perfection...The children unaware.. of the blessing existing within this dark angel.
Almighty God has spread his wings of Mercy and Justice , and these little innocent children are forever ensconced under his Divine Protection ." Suffer the Little Children to come unto Me "
Unto these little Flowers of Christ is granted a Holy Dispensation and Blessing for Eternity. For they are shown the way, graced and blessed by forgiveness and understanding, within the realm of god's higher purpose.
God is not mocked nor scorned , and every evil and wicked deed committed by the Agents of Darkness and Lucifer , The Morning Star , will be requited at God's Hand, which lives within the self.
Collaboration by Peter Paton & Amelia Amy Peterson
and your here posting it now Faith paid off?
this is an excellent heart-felt, soul touching poem
that speaks in volume to life that some of us know far to well....he answered you for strength because you are still here when others are not....great testimony!!!
Reviewed by Jane Rodway (Reader)
Reviewed on June 30, 2004
This is so well-written for something written as a teenager. I would be HIGHLY embarrassed if anyone read the romantic crap I wrote as a teen pining for some punk guy with cool hair!! This is deep and the ending, well the whole thing- is powerful. I adore the photo.
Reviewed by Thomas Lanechanger (Reader)
Reviewed on June 29, 2004
Outstanding write, Erica!!!… Thank you for sharing it.
Robin Ouzman Hislop's poetry is certainly in dialogue with some of the key architects of the 'poetics of indeterminacy' – both the Modernist strands represented by the likes of Beckett and Stein, and the postmodernist strands represented, initially,
This collection of poetry addresses the nature of time, reflections on the natural world, the difficulty of loss,
contemporary social issues and gratitude for life.
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Read my poem " Conversation with a Golden Angel "..a collaboration with Amelia Amy Peterson on child abuse for parallels and comparisons
please...
Conversation with a Golden Angel
by Peter Paton
Monday, July 26, 2004
Conversation with a Golden Angel
Conversation with a Golden Angel.....GA Golden Angel
A lesson in Child Abuse based on a true story . Collaboration by Peter Paton and Amelia Amy Peterson
Copyright Peter Paton 2004
I wondered why..... my parents brought me and my older sister to this strange place , so far from home ,... home sweet home.... , and oh so different , and oh so strange , to the Paradise I'd known ...... ..This Ugly House of Stone .
GA ( Children see in the now, I view the questioning, as...where are we? )
At three years old , my world revolved around the warm and reassuring glow of Mum and Dad , those loving faces and all embracing arms , that made me feel so safe and warm , and wanted !.
GA ( The child knows only immediate need of familiar security. )
But why bring us to this unfamiliar and imposing place Mum ?, and who are these other little children Dad , playing in this House of Darkness , and where are their Guardian Angels ?
GA ( Fear sets in, the house of darkness is frightening, a child is unable to comprehend the adult level of reason. )
Then I recall , through the searing pain and tears of bittersweet memory , the agonizing sight filtering through a big bay window , of Mum and Dad slipping quietly and softly away , pausing briefly to wave adieu , as my tender heart burst asunder , at this brutal disengagement of love and security .
Why ? Oh Why ? , and I have never understood.. Why were we abandoned in our distress?
GA ( Seeing family comfort walk away, uncomprehending, sensing...is this punishment?, have I been bad? Questioning the self because these frightening feelings are all around. What was safe and secure of mom and dad no longer exists.. Everything is unfamiliar, uncomfortable, insecurity sets in. )
The searing recall of burning anguish and endless tears follow my footsteps to this day, a tainted
and twisted tapestry deep within my subconscious , haunting the atoms and molecules of my being , and granting me no rest or consolation .
GA ( Rescuing the self requires forgiveness to everything involved…parents, place, self, others. Reassurance... you are not to blame. )
Why did God cast us in this Abyss titled Children's Home , and who tore the umbilical Cord of Love
from my grasp , and cast this Child Adrift .
GA ( God, gets blamed for everything, because it is everything. Leading one to a higher self
and learning to overcome the challenges placed upon it. )
Who formed the embodiment of Evil titled Matron ,and what bewitching brew did she consume ?
GA (The evil dark angel, I label her such, because she fulfills her torturing role, to set up the opportunity for you to rise to your higher self, though it may take years.. to find a way to forgive her.)
Oh King of Terror , Morning Star..who fell from Grace .. Thou Art Responsible !!, for who else would separate Love and its Consequence .
GA ( Blame, this time labeled King of Terror, the devil, the dark lord – the child thinks a good god could never let a child suffer in such a way, it must be Satan himself unleashed. )
When will this torturous mirror be shattered ? and release be poured in golden libation !!
GA (When the child is consciously able to release and forgive, his torture shall be dissolved)
This child remembers , remembers the dormitory of Hell , and its Legions of Little Angels
within this House of Dread .
GA ( Memories can bring much pain, re-living them, the mind following no rule of physical space, travels back to the space of this child’s agony still very much alive and suffering. )
Why did eyes so young and tender , have to witness such brute distemper , and how did no one
hear or answer our wounded cries , amidst this labyrinth of Sin .
GA ( Cries were heard beyond this world, the higher self ready, to heal the child, when the child is ready to receive it. )
My God , My God why didst thou forsake me in these days of old , and why must little children suffer to come unto thee ?
GA ( Yes, blaming God is a normal reaction. Children and adult alike expect and insist on instant miracles to fix suffering, they do not understand the miracle they are presented)
But out of the Dark , a Light did Shine , and Deliverance burst asunder the Chains of Hell
GA ( Faith, and hope, a self’s need for wholeness. Ready to release past pain and heal. A soul's growth leaps to embrace a higher consciousness)
GA: These precious children I watched in sadness, for their suffering was deep. Seeing through their child’s eyes, this dark, unknown, and frightening place, overshadowed by the matron appearing like evil, a dark angel, making their lives feel like hell. Where love had long since disappeared.
They are unaware of my presence, as I watch over them. In their hearts I feel such innocent splendor and see them lost in these dark walls. I hug them often, I whisper of hope, and send them dreams, encouraging them to find the faith within. God has not forsaken them. Love has not forsaken them. It is there, has always been there, waiting to be discovered.
I watch the matron deemed as evil, lost herself, she had never forgiven her own dark past. She drowns herself with alcohol, trying to drown her pain. Underpaid, unloved herself, resentful of her position to care for children, she despises them as filthy creatures. " She is evil personified, everything frightening to a child. She does her job without consciousness. Her fright injects into these future minds. Within she is eternally damned for her Satanic assaults on these little flowers of Christ...These Heavenly Cherubs and Water Babies of the Mother of God..She plays her role with demonic perfection...The children unaware.. of the blessing existing within this dark angel.
Almighty God has spread his wings of Mercy and Justice , and these little innocent children are forever ensconced under his Divine Protection ." Suffer the Little Children to come unto Me "
Unto these little Flowers of Christ is granted a Holy Dispensation and Blessing for Eternity. For they are shown the way, graced and blessed by forgiveness and understanding, within the realm of god's higher purpose.
God is not mocked nor scorned , and every evil and wicked deed committed by the Agents of Darkness and Lucifer , The Morning Star , will be requited at God's Hand, which lives within the self.
Collaboration by Peter Paton & Amelia Amy Peterson
Copyright Peter Paton 2004
Conversation with a Golden Angel
this is an excellent heart-felt, soul touching poem
that speaks in volume to life that some of us know far to well....he answered you for strength because you are still here when others are not....great testimony!!!
TRASK
Have no words for this plea!!
Love Tinak