Is there a part of you
lurking in me?
Just waiting for
my subconscious
to set you free?
Just a minute piece
is all it takes..
To build upon
years of pain and hate.
Genetics...
I know they are there.
Just waiting for
the right moment..
to enjoy my despair.
I can feel them at times
Screaming to come out.
The bad thoughts cross my mind.
The words want to escape.
But I will not let them
As I fight to control
my o w n fate.
And if a time comes
That I can no longer control..
Then I will have to
end it my way…
I will have to
Let life go..
For my children will
NEVER feel this..
Deep dark hole.
I know that
It could hurt
Those who might care .
They may even hate me.
But I can only do
what I can.
I will not pass on
This life I know.
I hope they understand..
My life always
switching..
fighting..
pretending..
Always cold.
This is not the life
I want my sons to know..
No darkness
For my children…
Just a small empty spot.
Where I once was..
But can soon be forgot..
But the love that I
have given them
I know will see them through.
And in my heart I will know
I did the right thing.
I did what I had to do.
To stop this line of madness
To stop all the
generations of pain.
Such a small price to pay…..
With generations of
happy children to gain.

ERICA