Pain Seeker That I Am (poem) by Erica Ivory on AuthorsDen

Pain Seeker That I Am
by Erica Ivory → (All Poetry by Erica Ivory)

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reposted/remix Journey Through Shadows ECA teenage years

Pain seeker that I am I take the razor And slice my skin. I watch the blade cut, Yet, I don't feel a thing So I do it deeper Again And Again. Pain seeker that I am, I take the lighter’s flame. I close my eyes for a second Then hold it near my skin… Watching I see the blister Smell my flesh burn, Yet, it still does not Cover this pain Within Pain seeker that I am, I see old scars From blades and burns. Some lessons are never learned. I know all this sounds insane. Trying to end my life with one slice of a vein. Ironically, Death was not always my goal. Most of the time it was to Help me let go. To feel the physical pain… IHelps to cover this pain I am in. The pain within is the worst by far… Worse than razors! Worse than fire! It is an eternal pain Memories and emotions That won't let me be. That is my torment eternally After all I am The seeker of pain-- The me of the past. See me--the girl over there-- The one with bandaged arms-- Strawberry hair. The one with no face-- Just a number. She has no family She doesn't want friends. She is just another girl In the system of Warehoused children. How those years Continue to haunt me To this day. Feeling so unwanted Scared Alone Guilty and imprisoned. For what? She is never told why-- She is just a number-- A girl with no face and no name-- That child-- that girl-- That seeker of pain.

Reviewed by Regis Auffray

Reviewed on November 12, 2003

A soul-wrenching and powerful piece.

Reviewed by jude forese

powerful account of the effects of pain given to us and the outcome of pain bestowed upon us by ourselves...

Reviewed by E T Waldron

You move the heart and soul with such writes,the sadness is sometines overwhelming...Well done, I too remembe some of it...

Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse (Reader)

Erica this is so poignant...I do remember reading it before and I am glad you reposted it....it reminds me of a book I read once...The scarred soul....I didnt like the book....it was gruesome...it was for a friend of mine....but it helped her....this is sad..you write these with so much feeling...floria

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)

A girl from the highschool I went to often came to school with new cuts up and down her arms. I often wondered why the school didn't investigate it more. Great write.

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)

My ex self harmed and I knew a pyromanic, well written