I wonder again if I have yet succeeded.
So much risk, so much at stake.
Like a person crazed i try again and again
for that which has so long been denied.
But why do I try?

It will only end in heartache and tears.
So many choices, so many decisions.
I will believe I finally made it
and could be happy again for a time.
But will it all be lies?

I'll be proved wrong and crumble.
Tears upon tears, pain upon pain.
"Don't give up, there are more chances
and plenty of time for it to happen."
But why even try?
But why even cry?
But why can't I get this one thing?