You appear without warning, like you usually do…
In the thin hazel smoke of the room.
I’ll come undone, for a chance,
For a change,
Just to hold you closer.

My body won’t respond.
I can’t keep attention.
I don’t feel suspension,
Like I do when I’m around you.

To forgive, to elude…
To provoke, to pursue,
Would be asking a lot from me.
To invoke, evoke…and then to exclude,
To consume the arid swill of defeat.

It feels like I’m falling,
And I can’t catch the ground.
I feel so ashamed lying in my remains,
Exposed at your feet.

Then you’re gone,
Like a ghost.
Like a dream, that haunts my mind.
When I close my eyes,
To sleep…
To resort to the peace, of a lie,
That I live,
To swindle, to buy…
All the time that I need.
To survive.

To continue,
To play this game…
To pretend,
To be alright,
Without going insane.

Cause it tears me apart,
To breathe the same air in, tonight.
When you’re here,
And it hurts to still remember your name.
I don’t speak up when you come too close.
I shut my eyes to exhale,
To remember the bliss that I let get away.

Be gentle…
One last time.
Promise me, tonight.
Be charming and divulge,
Be sweet by default.
Don’t worry, or take heed.
Don’t show fear, or concede.
Just love me completely,
Before turning to leave.

It all comes down to one final time…
The ongoing betrayal,
The everlasting tie…
Eternally bound to you,
Even when you vanish away…