I got a letter from him the day he died.
A simple, but saddening phone message.
How do you know when and if you’re dying?
Did he know?
Did I feel it?

Is it a feeling full of depth and consciousness?
One that no matter how hard you try,
You can’t make it go away.

How do you go about telling the ones you love?
The ones who are the reason you have a heart in the first place.
“I want to go away for a little while.”
Even when you don’t…

I kept him close.
No matter how many miles were between us.
Something tells me that I was the only thing he ever did right.
My heart was the only place he ever felt safe.

Even now, with a catch in my throat,
I remember his gentle face and the look he gave.
The one he held, only for me…
The voice he used to calm me down,
Even as he was dying…
The one on my answering machine.

I wish I would’ve picked up the phone.