Ten years old
I was happy safe and free
I was given protection and love
My life was all it was supposed to be.
 

Then one night
Mother’s Day Eve
My mom was taken away
And my happy life I had to leave.

I was shuffled around
Scared, lost and confused
I was no longer given love
Was threatened and abused.

At the tender age of ten
I made the decision to get away
I wrote a desperate letter
And was told I did not have to stay.

Completely alone I traveled to a new state
Scared, lost and confused
But I could not bring myself to say
I had been physically abused.

Eleven years old
I ran into my father’s arms
I believed he would protect me
From further harms.

But one horrible night
As I laid there scared, lost and confused
My father turned into a monster
I was sexually abused.

I didn’t tell anyone
Was silenced by my fears
I wish I would have told someone
So that night wouldn’t have turned into eight dark years.

Sixteen years old
He pinned me down on his bed
I struggled to fight him off
My screams echoing in my head.

After a long hard fight
He gave up and went away
The last part of my innocence
Died that day.

I went into the kitchen
Searching for a knife
The pain was too much
I wanted to end my life.

I couldn’t find one sharp enough
To open up my skin
I fell to the floor in tears
Afraid it would happen again.

Nineteen years old
Scared lost and confused
I turned against myself
My body I abused.

I wanted to disappear
To slowly fade away
I cut to show my pain
I made my body pay.

Twenty-one years old
Ten years of silence was to much to take
The pain took over me
Happiness I could no longer fake.

I broke the silence
Scared, lost and confused
Locked inside a psychiatric hospital
I told them that I had been sexually abused.

Full of anger and pain I was released
I wanted him to know the pain he put me through
I confronted him about what he did
Though this was something I was not ready to do.

His response was short and insincere
Left me torn apart and confused
I felt so hopeless
Betrayed, damaged and used.

That night I made the decision
To end my pain my ending my life
This time I would not be stopped
Because of a dull knife.

I opened up my wrist
Watched as my life flowed out
I no longer wanted to be a part of a world
Full of pain, sorrow and doubt.

I laid down on the floor
Believing death would set me free
Until I realized I didn’t want to die
That there was a life waiting for me.

It took all the strength I had
To save myself that night
Part of me wanted to give up
Part of me wanted to fight.

Twenty eight years old
My life is full of peace, happiness and love
I have found my way out of the darkness
The pain, I rose above.

Copyright © 2010 by Jenna Young