Blank eyes starring into space
Silent tears running down my face.
I am frightened, terrified and alone
I put myself here, I should have known.

I made the decision to pick up the knife
Though this time I was not trying to end my life.
I ran the blade over my skin
Put it down, and picked it up again.

I was out of control
I did not know what to do
I was out of my mind
Did not have a clue.

I marked up my body
Screaming to the world I was in pain.
I had nothing to loose
And felt I had nothing to gain.

Here sits a grown woman, who acts like a child
Rocking back and forth thumb in mouth
But when she screams
She makes the sound of an animal gone wild.

There is also a twenty-four year old woman
Weighting no more than 70 pounds
Who will do anything to get a hold of food
So she can throw it up while the nurses make their rounds.

She looks in the mirror
While screaming she is fat
She is deathly thin
But does not see that.

There are frail old ladies, wandering around
Not knowing what to do.
Yelling and screaming for no reason
As the confused often do.

This has become a familiar scene
The story of my life
All because when I get overwhelmed
I choose to pick up a knife

Copyright © 2010 by Jenna Young