What happens to the pain that rushes in like a gun shot victim into the emergency room?
It makes its way thru the body like a parasite trying to find a host. It finds one, the heart. It pierces through it with a sharp double edged knife. It leaves a scar that only time will heal. It does its damge then moves on to the brain, its new host. It takes over and fill it with thoughts. It's so many thoughts that the brain can't hold it all in. The brain tries to fight it off with tears. The tears fall like rain on a stormy night. It floods. The heart starts beating and pounding like the cops on a drug bust. You try to escape. It looks like there's no escape. The brain is on overload like an over worked machine. It's about to lose a screw. Yes, a screw. NO, NOT A SCREW!
"Keep it together," says the Conscience like a mother to a child. Who is that? That's the voice that was birthed from all of the thoughts. The thoughts ran through the brain like sperm trying to make a connection. "Set it off," says the other voice. The other voice? Yes, twins. Pain, what have you done? What have you created? It responds with hurt. It continues to create emotions. Anger emerges like a flower in the spring. "Simmer down now." No! You can't. You boil like a pot of water on the stove. You feel the heat from the fire burning inside of you.
The voices fight like only siblings do. Another Cain and Abel maybe? Am I my brother's keeper? "HELP ME!" the Conscience screams out as it is being sufficated by thoughts of getting even. Some one has to pay for the PAIN right? "Is it worth it though?" responds Reasoning. Reasoning rises up like the sun shinning ever so brightly.
It's morning. The darkness is gone. You're OK. Your tears were like quarters dropping into a pay phone calling out for help. Not knowing who would answer on the other end would turn out to be your greatest friend. My Lord my Savior. How did He know. He watched, never left. He was there through the pain.
I find it strange that, with your background, you didn't mention calling on God in this fierce battle. He's where the greatest strength can be found!
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Connie Faust