In Defense of Publishers (poem) by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com on AuthorsDen

In Defense of Publishers
by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com → (All Poetry by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com)

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"Turnabout is fair play!" We reamed 'em n' we wrecked 'em - now 'tis time to soothe the victims! Consider these numbers: Super-Quad-Zillion to the Nth Degree "letters" manipulated into a Quinti-Zillion "words" by several Trillion "writers" into Millions of "manuscripts" posted on "Hundreds of Thousands" of Websites, and "Thousands upon Thousands" of "Itsy-Bitsy" lil bits of Prose and "Poesy" = HUMONGOUS! How many Publishing companies are there? Couple thousand? Say each has 10-20 Editors - ? Maybe 200,000 Editors trying to READ MILLIONS of our written "Brain-Droppings" (I think coined by George Carlin ?) What's wrong with this Picture? GEE! How much money do editors make? maybe WE'RE in the wrong business? WATCH IT NOW! Don't everyone RUN to the other side at once - 'cause the boat will LIST!!! Anybody out there need an editor? No matter what the pay is - it's better than ZILCH !!!!
In Defense of Publishers Copyright: July 3^rd, 2003 Tom Hyland In "Hie Thee" we reamed their rectums, so now it�s only fair, To give you reasons why - perhaps they really care? Consider first of all, if you will, that the Internet is so immense, millions of sites to visit, competition so intense! Until a friend of mine gave me Authors Den�s URL, I had no idea whatsoever, the writings were so swell! Myriads of writers are pumping out their wares, posting them like busy beavers, or even "horny" little HARES! Yes, we are all quite prolific, as we populate the "Cyber-Air" and the numbers are mind-boggling, then we say THEY don�t care! Publishers are only human, and sometimes their minds get numb, they stick their fingers in many pies, and occasionally - do find a PLUM! Their Editors are deluged with pecks and bushels of our "WITS" all our "Home-Growed lil cherries," but mostly, lots n� lots of PITS! We bombard them every day, saying: "Pick me, pick me - please, make me a Starlet!" But lack of proof-reading on our part, can be lackadaisical as a HARLOT! So, when they don�t - because of our atrocious GRAMMAR, then split-expletives n� other nasty words, are what we always Yammer! So, what�s a Writer to do? What procedure might be wise? Besides AD - Mail Directly to the Publisher - if seeking The Pulitzer Prize! In the end my Friend, just what advice can I give to all of YOUSE? �Tis simple and mundane, mayhaps ye�ll think me insane, BUT - cross your �t"s and dot your "i"s, n� watch your "P"s and "Q"s !!! ***** Will there be a sequel? Should there be? Who knows? Better yet - Who cares? How about: " Hie Thee to a Dictionary, Dummy!" Or - "Go Get a Thesaurus - Morris!" OH ! Happy Independence Day ! To: EVERYONE !!!

Reviewed by m j hollingshead

Reviewed on February 27, 2005

enjoyed the read

Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Reviewed on July 21, 2003

LOLOLOL

(((tom, tom, tom)))

i've missed you and your clever, always amusing writes (that slap you upside the head with many a message)

(((HUGS))) and love,

karla. :)

sorry i missed this...

Reviewed by na na (Reader)

Reviewed on July 3, 2003

Yes Tom....there are many writers out there
who do their homework and can't write a lick!
Rest your mind the rest of the day Tom,
and enjoy the CELEBRATION:

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewpoetry.asp?id=68051

Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)

Funny. As a past editor, I can tell you that you don't get paid much at all, even in the big publishing houses. And you wonder where the students were when the English teacher was teaching basic grammar. Your manuscripts have to be perfect to catch the eye of an editor. No run on sentences, correct punctuation, no misspellings...etc., and last but not least, a good 'voice.' If an editor has to do a line by line correction for you, forget it. There are too many really good writers out there who do their homework, to bother with those who don't. An editor will know by reading your synopsis, if you can cut it.

Cute poem.

Reviewed by T. Emilie Dybevik (Reader)

Ha ha!

Thanks,

Emilie