Ruff N’ Ready Rufuz Inc., Is Delaying Chapter Six,

In Our Latest Exciting Comic Book Series,

There Can Be Only One – Ed,

For Several Reasons:

1) Edvard The Elder and Edwina are withdrawing from Battle.

2) Scuttle Butt has it that Ed George of Long Isle may enter it.

3) Jersey Devil Ed Has Somehow lost Ed Island In The Fog.

4) Commodore Eddy can’t remember how he got in this family.

5) Viking Ed would like a bit of R&R for the Holiday Weekend.

6) Pee Wee Ed has to spend the day cleaning critter poop on the Ark.

7) A poor woman named Tiger Lily Ed is running all about Ed Island,

Claiming that she is married to most of the Male Eds at the same time,

And we surely don’t want her to be injured in any way in any Cross-Fire.

8) Frankly, These Ancient Ed Wars Are Extremely Expensive to Wage.

So, Instead of Posting Chapter Six,

Today, We Bring You The Following

Paid Promotional Advertisement,

While We Try to Sort This All Out.

Got Salt?

I used to have me own ship,

I used to sail where I please,

I used to plunder many a port,

Then laugh, sailin off in da breeze.

But one ruff day, in a real dumb moment,

I agreed ta work for some tuff pirate females,

I been slavin away fer them fer quite awhile now,

And these sly wenches love tormentin this old male.

“Salty Walty, have ye scrubbed all the ship’s decks yet?

What kind a cookies are ye bakin for this night’s feast?

And before ye clean out all the filthy commodes and bilges,

Can ye run a real nice hot bath fer us, Pretty, Pretty, Please!”

These female pirates think they’ve got me now, ferever,

But thank da Pirate gods, I found me some ole Epsom salt;

It eases me aches and pains, so I’ve writtin a book about it,

An Ole Pirate Talks Epsom, by none other than ole Salty Walt.

When I makes me fortune, from sellin copies of this here book,

I figure I can buy a job as Chief Cook fer good ole Cap’n Hook;

No more will I be a Male Slave, fer these very demandin females,

And so’s just ta wet yer appetites, me Laddies, just have a little Look!

Salty Walt’s One Hundred and One Uses Fer Epsom Salt

1. Foot Soak: Soothe yer achin feet, remove dem foul foot odors, and soften yer rough Pirate barnacles with a real good foot soak. Add 1/2 cup of Epsom Salt to a big pan a warm water. Soak yer feet for as long as it feels just right. Then rinse and dry!

2. Skin Exfoliator: Massage handfuls of Epsom Salt all over yer handsome wet Pirate skin, Lads, startin with your big feet, and continuin up towards yer rugged Pirate faces. Have a real nice bath to rinse!

3. Splinter Remover and Lash Reliever: Soak yer big hairy Pirate arses in Epsom Salt, too; it’ll draw out them nasty wood splinters from bein high heel boot scooted along ship decks, and it even takes da sting outa dem nasty leather lash wounds, it surely does!

And I wanna tell ya, Laddies,

This last one’s a real life saver fer me

Around this old female pirate ship.

And I know yer all now eagerly wantin

To see the rest of these Epsom Salt Tips,

Straight From a Real Salty Pirate’s Pen.

And Guess What, Me Hardys!

All ye old pirates can now order me book direct from:

Epsom Salt Walt (That’s Me!)

C/O The Lady Marmalade Pirate Ship

“I’m Tellin Ya Lads,

Epsom Salt’s

Better ’n Gold,

Fer Salty Old Dogs,

Like We!

I Like It,

I Love It,

I Can’t Git,

Enough Of It!”

Epsom Salt Walt

(This Has Been A Paid Book Advertisement)

And Happy Labor Day,

To All The Male Slaves,

All Around the Globe!

We’ll Be Getting Back to the Comic Book Shortly.

But If All the Eds Withdraw, Rufuz May Scuttle This One,

And Soon Start:

The Battle of – The Ancient Freds

(They’re Fighting Over an Old Rock Quarry,

And This War Dates Back to the Stone Age.)

©2007, Ruff N’ Ready Rufuz, Inc.