PREFACE 1959, HOLY ROSARY CHURCH, ROCHESTER NH

Per omnia secula seculorum

Six candles gleam, three on either side of the

Ivory white marble altar, as the old organ

In the loft groans out Gregorian Chant;

High Mass.  The memeres and schoolkids

Watch the priest, back to them, commune with God.

Amen

The old church, dark and gloomy-a marvel of

Psuedo bastardic, semi Gothic, Franco Canado

New England pietism, drafty old ark,

All floor-to-ceiling frescoes, the glory

Of Mother Church, God’s hiding place.

Dominus vobiscum

The nose hears the air speak: incense

And furniture polish, mustiness and perspiration,

Soap and wax. The odor of sanctity?

Probably just urine. The kids say the old organist

Pees his pants when the Mass gets too long.

Et cum spiritu tuo

Purple and gold priest, lacy white

Acolytes with red surplices. The show goes on

As they face a twenty foot Jesus suffering

On a painted cross with a cast of thousands as

Father and Holy Ghost symbol above the crown of thorns.

Sursum corda

Outside, grey asbestos/concrete shingles

Shabby, careworn and cracked. No money

For a new church as smoke from the

Next door woolen mill yellowy blankets the

Schoolyard/parking lot with child choking fumes.

Habemus ad dominum

Follow in the Missal; click the beads; be quiet.

Hush is the only allowed response. The cure,

Seemingly old as the church, croaks out the verses,

Answered by the ancient, strangulated

Vibrato tenor from the wheezy choir loft.

Dignum et justum est

I sit mid nave, ten years old, mouse of a boy,

Hearing, seeing, smelling. Transfixed out of my

Loneliness. I can’t find God, not knowing how to

See him bouncing off all my senses

That damp late winter morning.

Vere dignum et justum est

Sister asked for altar boys yesterday.

I wanted to say yes so bad, but couldn’t.

I was born wrong, warped, twisted. God didn’t love

Boys like me-so said Father yesterday when

I confessed my sins to him.

Good thing God knows me better than Father does.

Amen

Original 3/11/93

Revised  5/17/09