Reading poetry here at Author's Den, I came across a poem that challenged me to have a go at "something that rhymes" for a change again. I didn't quite manage to follow the form as it was, but still this was an enjoyable exercise. There is something interesting about what happens in your head when you try to force words to conform to structure and still retain some form of movement ...
Bright Morning
The morning arose
like the ghost of a morning
with silver bright mists
and shadows awry
the sun shone so meekly,
resistant and weakly
while the birds gentle call
did receive no reply.
Shape shifting time
enfolded me gently,
a cloak of tomorrows
yet to be born;
a veil of things past
that drifted with sorrow
lost loves and lost days
I never did mourn.
Until a fine wind
touched me gently and lightly,
caressed my cheek,
it played in my hair -
Thus the day was revealed,
the morning smiled brightly,
and all I could see
was perfect, and fair.
This is a Gestalt poem, a perfect day born out of the here and now, Silvia...great rhyme and meter flows. Bright Morning shape shifts into a woodland forest for me, many hidden things watching me, like a Bev Doolittle camouflage painting, the birds lively with song, and the gentle breeze from all four directions converging in the center of it all. Every morning should be as you describe here. Blessed Be.
Sage
Reviewed by Jane Rodway (Reader)
Reviewed on May 15, 2006
Lovely images, and you kept the rhyme real and the flow moving, excellent work.
Silvia . . . thanks for this attempt! I guess one of the greatest feelings as a writer/poet/musician (retired recording musician), besides selling thousands of novels, is when anothers creative juices are piqued by something you've done. Imparting life to one another is certainly a priority for a writer. Although not classical in its entirety, I enjoyed the "freeness" of this piece you've written and also the challenging moment I percieve you embraced while doing it.
While the free expressions of ones creativeness always reflects the personal gift each has been given, I always find myself humbled, reestablished, and edified, by trying, occasionally, especially when my pride starts usurping my imagination, to adhere to the old forms of the venerated masters. Respectfully Richard
Thr rhyme keeps the time, and sets the pace, the pondereing comes, in where the rhyme takes place. You can put them in every line, or maybe every two or three. But using ryhme in your writes, is a challenge, Certainly! Art Great write!!
BEFORE DARKNESS FALLS Retails for 14.95 / but you can have it now for only 11.95 This is a book of poetry and prose that deals with real life issues that all of mankind comes to face. Some of the poems deal with the tenderness of love, while others s
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Sage
While the free expressions of ones creativeness always reflects the personal gift each has been given, I always find myself humbled, reestablished, and edified, by trying, occasionally, especially when my pride starts usurping my imagination, to adhere to the old forms of the venerated masters. Respectfully Richard
eT
An exquisite poem of great sensitivity and awareness
Enjoyed immensely
This is my cup of tea !
Blessings
Peter